Chapter 19
There was a lot to go through in that basement library, even with Vincent skimming the abstracts for them to weed out the less relevant documents. Jessie could see how Sephiroth had spent days here. They were each of them working their way through a stack of journals, even Nanaki, who was remarkably adept at turning pages with his claws.
Jessie was nose-deep in journals about the Jenova Project, and whatever else might be said for Dr. Lucrecia Crescent, mother of Sephiroth, she had clear handwriting. Besides the data on the experiment itself, she had taken meticulous notes on research into the Cetra that seemed to support Aeris's theory. It had been there right in front of them: a disaster that struck the Cetra civilization two thousand years ago, and an organism found, two-thousand-years-old, at the site of the great Northern Crater.
But they'd been hopeful, and named it an Ancient.
Given the horrific nature of the experiment, and the man it had produced, it was strange to read her and Professor Gast's hopes for it. They didn't fit with Jessie's image of Shinra, and maybe back then, the company had been a different monster, a fledgling horror that went unrecognized. Gast and Lucrecia didn't care about military applications. They thought they could make a better world by bringing the Cetra back into it. A people who spoke to and understood the Planet intuitively, without needing science to act as an intermediary.
Jessie snuck a glance at Aeris. It was ironic, in a way. Gast had put all this effort into trying to make an Ancient, and in the end, he'd done it the old-fashioned way.
"Ugh," said Yuffie, leaning back from the book she was reading. "Hojo had the worst handwriting. Somebody wanna trade me?"
She held it out hopefully towards where Nanaki and Vincent sat on the floor across from them. Vincent looked at it in distaste, and Nanaki shook his head.
"This is Hojo's as well," he said.
"I'll try it," Jessie offered. "Lucrecia is pretty easy to read."
She felt Vincent's eyes on them as she traded with Yuffie, but when she glanced up, he'd returned to reading.
Yuffie leaned closer to her. "Y'know," she whispered, "he never did explain the whole sleeping-in-a-coffin thing."
"I think we might have to let that one go," Jessie whispered back.
"But it's so weird! How did he even breathe in there?"
"We're sitting in a lab where they did human experiments, Yuffie. I think that's pretty self-evident."
Yuffie eyed Vincent over. "You think these scientists experimented on him, too?"
"I don't know how else you explain how a man who should be at least fifty looks like that," Jessie said. He could do with a haircut and an updated wardrobe, but he was really a very attractive man, she thought.
The epitome of brooding.
Jessie dropped her gaze to the journal, and grimaced. Hojo really had had bad handwriting. She squinted her way through it, and it wasn't just the tiny scrawl, but the dispassionate way he wrote that put her off. He spoke of Lucrecia and her pregnancy only in the most clinical terms, as though he'd never so much as met the woman who must have been his close colleague.
Aeris let out a small gasp, and Jessie looked up. She and Tifa had chosen to read through the more recent files, and maybe she'd finally found something about Cloud.
"What is it?" Tifa asked her.
"This one has a list of test subjects from when they started the experiment. There aren't any names, but listen: 'approximately 18 years of age, SOLDIER 1st Class'..." Aeris's voice faltered as she reached the end of the description. "'Extensive injuries'..."
"Let me see that," said Tifa, taking the book from her. "Here, it has them numbered, so this must be Cloud. '16 years of age, infantryman, extensive injuries.' It's the same note, and he's alive." She hesitated, her expression darkening. "At least half of these people are listed as survivors from the Nibelheim massacre. Including him."
"You never mentioned he was there," Aeris said.
"I didn't think he was..."
Infantryman, the document said. "You did say there were soldiers, though," Jessie recalled, and she shadowed the top half of her face with her hand in imitation of their helmets. "Maybe you didn't recognize him?"
Tifa looked over at her. "And he never said anything? I know we weren't close, but you think he'd have said hello."
"We can ask him," Aeris said. "He did know about the fire, so... maybe he remembers it."
Tifa nodded, but as she read over the remainder of the list, she only looked more heartbroken. "Oh, no..."
"What?" Jessie asked.
"'Ages... 7 and 3'... That must be... That's about how old the Reiher kids must've been."
"They took children for this?"
"That's not exactly new," Aeris reminded them grimly.
"Right. Of course," said Jessie. "It's just... still awful."
Tifa ran her fingers over the page, and then she looked up. "Nanaki... It's Zack that's listed as number thirteen here. I don't think this experiment has anything to do with you."
"I... Thank you, Tifa," Nanaki said, bowing his head.
Jessie thought it would have been odd for him to be involved in this one, but more and more, she was learning you could never tell with Shinra. Nothing was too strange or horrible for them.
The uncomfortable thought crossed her mind, turning her stomach to ash: if Shinra had used the survivors of one disaster for an experiment, had they done it for others? What were they doing now, in the remains of Sector 7? Could they have pulled people, still living, from the rubble, only to trap them into something even worse?
There was no way Biggs had survived, she thought, and for the first time there was the tiniest grain of relief in that. At least he'd never be put through something like this.
Eventually, everything she was reading began to run together, and Jessie sat back. "I think I've learned about all I'm going to about this Jenova Project," she said. "How are you guys doing?"
"I'm done if you are!" Yuffie declared, snapping her book shut. She hadn't actually turned a page in a while, so either she'd already given up or she'd been having trouble focusing. It made her smile, briefly. Biggs would've been the same way.
"Yes," Nanaki agreed, "I doubt there's much to gain from delving into the minutiae."
Jessie looked to Tifa, who nodded reluctantly. "There's enough here about what was done to them, but not the reason. It's not even referenced."
"Well," said Aeris, closing her book and setting it aside, "there are a few references to the original Jenova Project, so I think Jessie's theory is probably right. Hojo was trying to make another Sephiroth, but he failed."
Nanaki shook his head. "I wouldn't be so certain. Hojo tends to dispose of failed experiments, but we've encountered at least two of these 'clones,' and that report indicated they were being monitored."
"The report did make it sound like Hojo was still expecting something from them," Jessie conceded. "He thought they'd be leaving town for some reason."
"You don't think what they've got is contagious, do you?" said Yuffie, making a face.
"No, I don't think so," said Tifa. "But I don't know what you'd expect from someone in the shape Cloud was in..."
"Let's just get back to Barret," Jessie suggested, picking herself up off the floor. "He's been alone with poor Cloud for hours now."
Tifa nodded. "I can guess that went one of two ways. Either he's had to listen to some long rants about Shinra and how they're destroying the Planet, or he's had all the best Marlene stories."
"Oh," said Aeris, "now I'm jealous."
They only put the library back in enough order that they could make their way out without tripping over anything. The last one out, Tifa switched off the lights. They started down the tunnel to the staircase, but Vincent separated from them, moving towards the crypt.
"What- You're not going back to sleep, are you?" Jessie said.
"It is my punishment," he replied.
"Gods, you're even weirder than the rest of this bunch," said Yuffie.
Aeris turned to him. "Vincent, why don't you come with us? Instead of punishing yourself, you could be helping people."
"Nothing I do now would rectify my mistake."
"What about Sephiroth? Do you think Lucrecia would want her son to be doing what he is?"
Vincent didn't reply.
"You don't know what happened to her either, right?" Jessie put in. "Maybe you could find out."
"...what of Hojo?" Vincent asked.
"He's dead," said Tifa. "Sephiroth killed him only a few days ago."
"Hm. A fitting end."
With that, he turned his back on them and disappeared into the crypt. Jessie exchanged uncertain glances with Aeris. Was it worth trying to convince him? She didn't have any reference point for people who wanted to waste away in coffins.
"At least he was some help," said Tifa. She didn't seem to like Vincent, but she was looking at the crypt door with a frown.
"Well, I say good riddance to that giant downer," Yuffie declared, making the decision for them as she turned to go on. Nanaki started after her, and with a shrug, Jessie turned to follow.
But then Yuffie shrieked as something sprang out of the darkness ahead. Cold hands slammed into Jessie's shoulders, and her back hit the ground, knocking the wind out of her. Silhouetted above her was a deformed torso... with two heads. Saliva dripped down onto her cheek from a wide and grinning mouth.
A shot rang out. One of the heads snapped back, and fell limp. The other head let out a strange hooting noise before Tifa's foot connected with the monster's rib cage, knocking it off of her.
"Jessie!" Aeris exclaimed, and she knelt to help Jessie to her feet. Tifa had planted herself between them and the monster. In the doorway behind them stood Vincent, gun drawn.
The monster arched its back and righted itself, swaying on gangly legs. It jerked up one of its too-long arms, and a wave of lightning swept across the room, hitting the four of them knotted together in front of it. Jessie stumbled back into Vincent, while Aeris planted her staff to keep her footing, and Tifa dropped to one knee.
From behind the monster, Nanaki growled and leapt for it, sinking his teeth into its leg. It twisted in a grotesquely impossible way and swung its arm into his head, knocking him off. It crouched as though to spring after him, but Yuffie threw her shuriken and sent it staggering back.
Before it found its balance, Tifa knocked its legs out from under it, and Aeris brought her staff down on it to keep it from getting up. Jessie felt a metal hand on her shoulder, steadying her, and Vincent fired two more shots into the creature's second head. It stilled, and did not rise again.
"Um... Thanks," Jessie said, turning as Vincent's hand left her shoulder.
He nodded wordlessly.
She had to try again. Didn't it mean something that he'd reemerged so swiftly to help them with the monster? "Are you sure we can't persuade you?" Jessie asked. "You've already been a big help, and we could always use another ally."
Vincent hesitated, and he seemed to be looking at the dead monster. At last he holstered his gun and stepped out from the doorway. "Very well. I will accompany you, if I can be of use."
Jessie couldn't have guessed with any certainty what had caused the change of heart, and who knew if she'd ever find out, but she thought he'd come to it before she'd asked. Whatever his reasons, it could never hurt to have someone else along.
She just worried how Barret was going to react when he found out they'd recruited an ex-Turk.
It was a relief to get back outside again. As much as Jessie understood the wrongness of the place and how hard it was on Tifa, the village didn't give her the creeps the way the mansion had. The afternoon sun had begun its descent into the west, throwing a warm light on the faces of houses that looked perfectly cozy.
Vincent squinted in that light, raising his left arm to shade his eyes. Jessie had tried to sneak enough discreet glances earlier to figure it out, but now in the daylight she could see clearly that it wasn't a gauntlet. What had come first in this aesthetic? she wondered. The prosthetic arm or the vampire cape? Neither of them were part of any Turk uniform these days.
"I thought you said all of this had burned down," he said.
"Shinra rebuilt it," Jessie explained, so Tifa wouldn't have to. "To cover up what happened."
They returned to the replica of Tifa's house, and Jessie could hear conversation from upstairs.
"The hell difference does that make?" Barret was saying. "Doesn't make 'em better than anybody."
Cloud's reply was softer, too hard to make out.
"That's just basic--"
"Was that the door?"
They reached Tifa's room, and Barret rose from his seat on the piano stool as they entered. Cloud still sat on the bed, but he'd shrugged out of the shapeless black cloak, revealing a stained and ratty Shinra uniform beneath.
Barret opened his mouth, frowned at the sight of Vincent, and asked, "Who's this guy?"
"Barret, this is Vincent," said Tifa as diplomatically as she could. "Vincent, this is Barret, and Cloud."
"We found him locked in the basement of the Shinra mansion," Jessie added, because she knew a name wouldn't be enough explanation for Barret.
"He's probably a vampire," Yuffie put in.
"We just saw him in the sunlight, Yuffie," said Aeris.
Vincent stepped forward and offered Barret his clawed left hand. "I assure you I am not a vampire," he said, and Jessie hid a grin behind her hand. Did he have a sense of humor or did he really think that was important to clarify?
Barret just looked at the claw for moment before he took it with his hand and gave it a solid shake. "Don't know what any of that's supposed to mean," he said, "but I guess you helped or Tifa wouldn't've brought you."
Aeris nodded. "He helped us find some information about the Jenova Project, and... that other experiment," she said, glancing cautiously at Cloud.
Tifa motioned Barret closer and asked quietly, "How's he been?"
"Little spacey," Barret answered, "but he ain't gone catatonic or nothin.' Freaked out a little when I mentioned Sephiroth."
"Can you guys stop talking about me like I'm not here?" Cloud asked.
"Sorry, Cloud," said Tifa. "We're just into some pretty heavy stuff right now, and I'm not sure what you're up for, considering..."
Cloud shook his head. "I think it's hurting my head more not knowing."
"...all right," Tifa decided. "But do you want to get out of that uniform?"
Cloud glanced down at himself. "Don't have anything else."
"There's probably some clothes in the other room you could wear."
"But... that's your father's..."
"I know. It's all right."
Cloud hesitated, but he nodded. He got to his feet, unsteady on them for a second, like he hadn't used them in a long time. Then he made his way out of the room, keeping his head down to avoid everyone's gazes. As he passed between them, Jessie could see that the tear on the front of his shirt had a matching one in the back, as though he'd been stabbed clean through. 'Extensive injuries' was right.
Tifa looked back to Barret. "How badly did he freak out, about Sephiroth?"
Barret shrugged. "Seemed scared, mostly. Kinda like you back when we ran into 'im at Shinra HQ."
"All right. Hopefully that means it gets easier."
"Teef... do you wanna get outta here?"
"What?"
"Outta this town," Barret elaborated. "We got what we came for, right? I know you don't wanna spend the night in this fucked up place, an' I ain't too keen on it either knowin' all the folks here are Shinra."
Tifa nodded slowly. "Yeah. I guess you're right. We should get going, find someplace to camp before nightfall..."
Cloud returned, though he lingered just outside the doorway without entering. The clothes he'd changed into were plain and unremarkable, but when Tifa saw him, a faraway look crossed her face.
"You're... going somewhere?" Cloud asked uncertainly.
"I'm not sure where we're going," Tifa admitted, "but we can't stay in Nibelheim. It's your decision, but... I'd like for you to come with us. I don't like the idea of leaving you in this place."
"...me neither," said Cloud. "I'll come."
"Shouldn't we search the rest of the town before we go?" said Aeris. "I mean, Tifa, you don't have to see any more of it, but..."
"I get it. Zack could be here."
"Zack?" Cloud repeated, perking up.
Tifa and Aeris both hesitated, so Jessie spoke up. "There was a record of him being number 13," she said, gesturing to her hand. "So, if there are any others like you here..."
"I want to look, too," Cloud decided.
"Are you sure?" Tifa asked him. "It's... not easy, seeing it all like this."
Cloud glanced out the bedroom windows into the square below. "...I have to look," he said.
"All right."
"Aeris is right, though," said Jessie. "I think you should sit this part out, Tifa. You haven't given yourself any breaks this whole time."
Tifa nodded, and it was a sign of how much the place was getting to her that she didn't protest. "But you'll come get me if you find anyone else?" she asked.
"Yeah," Aeris assured her. "We'll let you know."
"Let's go for a walk, okay?" Jessie suggested. "Get outta this house."
Tifa let Jessie steer her out of the bedroom, though she threw a glance back over her shoulder as they left.
Barret's voice carried down the stairs. "Awright," he was saying, "rest of us'll split up and check the other houses. New guy, you're with me, so I can keep an eye on ya."
Jessie smiled, unsurprised. "I wonder how they're going to get along," she said.
"I wonder," said Tifa. "Maybe Barret preferred being outnumbered."
They stepped out into the street, and either way they went, it wouldn't have taken long to get out of the village, but Tifa chose south, and Jessie kept pace with her.
"Do you think Cloud's going to join us, too?" Jessie wondered.
Tifa shook her head. "I don't know if he should. I mean... He's lucid now, but I don't know how fragile that is. Sooner or later, we're going to confront Sephiroth, and... he's barely coping with being here."
"I dunno," said Jessie. "I think I'd be more worried if he wasn't overwhelmed. Look at it from his perspective: it's like he just woke up in a place he didn't think existed anymore, and his old neighbor showed up with a bunch of her weird new friends and told him to sit tight while they look into something they won't tell him about."
"...I guess that is a lot."
"He does seem kinda fragile right now, but we'll see how he handles learning about the experiment and everything, right?"
Tifa nodded. "Yeah. And... I do want to keep an eye on him, at least for a little while."
Jessie glanced at her. Of course she was already thinking of someone else's needs. "So how are you holding up, with all of this?" she asked. "I can't imagine how much it's messing with your head, finding Nibelheim like this."
And Jessie had tried imagining it. What would it be like if she went back to Midgar to find Sector 7 just the way she remembered it before its destruction, only full of strangers who told her she'd never had any place there? She'd probably feel like she was going crazy, but would she be angry? Upset? Would there be any strange kind of relief, to see the place standing again?
"It... doesn't quite feel real," Tifa admitted, "like most of today's been some kind of dream."
"I can see that. These things don't always hit you right away."
They passed beneath the gate at the edge of town, and within a few paces, the pavement beneath them gave way to a narrow dirt road.
"I think it's an insult, though," Tifa went on.
"An insult?" Jessie repeated.
"My Nibelheim is gone. It can't be brought back. But they put this thing where it used to be... I wish it weren't here, I really do, but..."
"...you can't imagine destroying it," Jessie concluded.
Tifa nodded. "It's too awful."
It was like Shinra had defiled someone's grave, Jessie thought. The grave of a hometown... and who knew what had happened to the people who had died there. Hojo had taken the survivors for his experiment, but what about the dead? Where were their bodies now? Somewhere hidden beneath the foundations, or... thrown away like so much trash?
"I'm sorry, Tifa. All I can say is... we'll be leaving soon."
"I don't ever want to come back."
"At least you found one real thing here," Jessie ventured. "You found a survivor. That's the first time you've seen anyone else from Nibelheim since then, right?"
"Right... You're right. I never really thought I'd see anyone from home again."
"He's kinda cute, too."
Tifa looked at her askance. "Really?"
"What? I'm not allowed to think so?"
"I didn't say that, I'm just... surprised you can even think about that right now."
Jessie shrugged. "This situation's not that rough on me, and I'm pretty good at multitasking."
"Still. I'm sorry you keep having to deal with all of our shit," Tifa said.
"Isn't that what friends are for?"
"I just don't want you to feel like you can't lean on us because of everything that's going on."
Jessie shook her head. "I can't dump on you right now."
"Why not?"
"You went through the same thing I did, when Sector 7 fell."
And anyway, they'd left all of Jessie's ghosts far behind them in Midgar, so she hadn't been forced face-to-face with them like Tifa and Barret had, or even Aeris. There was no way she could've handled it this well.
"Barret and I have been through it before," Tifa said, and if she was about to shrug it off because of that, then Jessie would have to have some words with her. But instead she went on, "I wonder now... It's taken us this long to talk about it. Maybe it would've been easier to get through if we'd had people around from the start that we trusted enough to share it with."
Maybe Tifa was right. Maybe it was hypocritical of her to ask them to open up, and then keep this to herself. It's just that her instinct was to talk to Biggs... someone who wasn't here.
"...I keep forgetting," Jessie confessed. "When I'm not thinking about it, I feel like Sector 7 is still there, and Biggs is off with Wedge somewhere. Until I think of something I want to tell him later, and I realize I won't be able to."
Tifa nodded. "That happens to me, too."
"I feel awful about it. I mean, how do you just forget something that important?"
"Biggs was important," Tifa stated. "You're not forgetting him. The fact that he's gone... that's a whole new reality. And you knew him your whole life."
Jessie hesitated. "...how long did it take you to accept that Nibelheim was gone?"
Tifa drew in a breath. "A while," she admitted. "You'd think being in Midgar would've been a constant reminder... but sometimes I'd think about writing home to my father about it. Or I'd wake up in the middle of the night thinking I was in my house in Nibelheim. I guess it was... around the time I met Barret that that didn't happen so much anymore."
"A year, huh..."
"It's a process. And gods, I hope you only have to go through it once."
Jessie nodded. It was pretty depressing that Tifa could be a voice of experience on this. "We're all kind of a mess, aren't we?" she said. "At least Yuffie seems relatively untraumatized."
"That's saying something, considering she grew up during the war."
"...yeah, I guess it is. But I wonder if it's really okay for her to come along on all this."
Tifa shook her head. "As long as she wants to come, it seems hypocritical to tell her no. I was her age when we started AVALANCHE."
"Damn, that's right, isn't it? I forget sometimes, you seemed so mature."
"It's kind of heartening that Yuffie isn't, in a lot of ways."
"Yeah," Jessie agreed, and then she ventured a smile. "You know, I was thinking of starting a pool on when she figures out you and Aeris, but I don't know what we'd bet."
"...camp chores?" Tifa suggested.
"All right. Then I call full-on kissing. She won't get it until she sees you two making out."
Tifa blushed.
"...have you yet?"
"I mean..." Tifa spread her hands. "When was I supposed to? Between the monster-infested mountains and the basement where her old boyfriend got experimented on, I sure know how to show a girl a good time, right?"
Jessie couldn't help a snort. "Okay, fair point. But c'mon, you've gotta seize the moments you can. If she's upset after all this stuff with Zack and her father, then you put your arm around her and you tell her everything's gonna be okay. Girls like that."
"Jessie, I am a girl."
"Do you want my advice or not?"
"...I do, actually."
"Okay," Jessie went on, "so I may not be an expert on relationships, but I know if they're going to work, they've gotta work when things are rough, especially for us. It's like you were telling me, now's not the time to keep your distance thinking you don't wanna burden her."
"I thought I was supposed to tell her everything's all right," Tifa said.
"Her things. Your things can be a mess, vulnerability's attractive."
"You're making this sound complicated."
"It doesn't have to be," Jessie insisted. "Look, how about this? Just don't get in your own way. If you're in the moment, and you want to say something, then say it. If you want to kiss her, then kiss her. Don't think about it."
"That's very you," said Tifa.
"Well, I'm the one you're talking to."
"I guess I can try it. I'll let you know how it goes."
"You'd better," said Jessie. "I'm counting on you to have a bright future."
"You're a part of that. Aeris is supposed to teach you gardening, remember?"
"That's right! Now that's something to look forward to. You're gonna settle down with your girlfriend, and I have some kind of midlife crisis and completely change careers."
"Would you say being in AVALANCHE is a career...?" Tifa wondered.
"You know, I'm not sure anymore," Jessie admitted. "It used to be Barret was my boss, and I got paid on a semi-regular basis. But now I think we're just an increasingly weird group of people who might be family..."
"I think I like that better," said Tifa.
"Yeah," Jessie agreed. "Me, too."