Epilogue IV

There were nine of them altogether. Nine people who had survived the fires of Nibelheim and the hell that had followed. Ten, counting Zack. It wasn't a lot, but it was so many more than one.

Holy had left the others physically weak, but it was akin to muscle atrophy, the doctors had said; nothing they couldn't overcome with time. Their minds were their own again, and Tifa had spoken to each of them. The recognition in their faces, the shared recollection of things before the massacre--these people remembered her as she'd been then. And, despite how she felt the years had changed her, they didn't seem to see it. The adult she'd become wasn't someone unexpected.

But, maybe they didn't look too hard. Like with Cloud, the past five years were a haze to them, and they'd had little more than a week to begin coming to terms with what had happened to them. While reconnecting with them made Tifa's loss smaller, they had only just realized theirs. For them, nine was such a small number. There were too many people missing from nine.

And then there were the Reiher children.

Ada was twelve now, and her brother eight, but though their bodies had grown, they had only the experiences of children five years younger. Their parents were dead, and they'd barely known the adults who had survived. Ada recognized Tifa, but couldn't recall her name; Simon didn't seem to know her at all, but it was hard to tell. He clung tight to his sister's hand, and no one had heard him speak a word.

The people of the canyon did what they could. With the survivors dealing with their own issues, a local couple had been looking after Ada and Simon. Tifa came across them, without meaning to, in the vegetable garden. The other children didn't have the patience or sensitivity for them, and the bonfire frightened them, so it seemed the couple was trying to engage them in something quieter. Tifa hung back, not wanting to get in the way, but they had yet to show any interest.

It was so different from when she had come here with Aeris. Watching her greeting the plants she knew like old friends, her curiosity about the ones she didn't. Her connection to growing things was immediate, and she'd drawn Tifa right along with her.

Admittedly, Tifa had come here because she missed her, silly as that was. Aeris had only been gone three days, but they'd never been apart for that long before. Already there were things that Tifa wanted to tell her. Would Aeris be able to get through to these kids? she wondered.

"Here you are," said a voice from behind her, and Tifa turned.

"Mr. Hirsch," she said. "Were you looking for me?"

"I wanted to ask you something," he said, though his eyes slid past her, and his face fell. "Well... maybe not everyone takes to gardening, do they?"

Tifa glanced back. "Maybe not," she said. "I wish I knew something I could do for them..."

Mr. Hirsch shook his head. "I don't think this is one of those things that's got some magic cure. Care and stability--that's what those kids need right now. That, and time."

"Stability..." Tifa murmured. "No one's made that decision yet, have they? To take on caring for two traumatized kids for the long term."

"Someone's got to. But... I don't think that someone is me."

Tifa hesitated, but she knew her answer, too. Stability wasn't something she'd been able to provide for Marlene of late; the future might look better, but it was far from certain. As much as her heart ached for these two, it would be irresponsible to think she could give them what they needed.

"I don't think it's me either," she admitted reluctantly. "Anyway, what was it you wanted to ask me?"

"I was hoping... Do you still remember Kyle's address, in Midgar? I'm sure he's moved since then, but it would be a start."

Tifa shook her head slowly. "Sorry. I just know it was in Sector 3 somewhere."

"That's more than I could remember."

"You're not thinking of going to Midgar?"

"I've got to find my son," he said, and his composure broke a little, defiant in the face of an anticipated argument. "I've got to know he's still alive and well. I don't care how dangerous it is right now."

"I understand," Tifa said. "But... can you wait? Just a little while. My friends will be back soon, and then we just need a little time, before we go back to Midgar. A week, maybe. Then we can go back together, and look for Kyle. It'll be easier, if you have someone along who knows the city."

"A week..." Mr. Hirsch considered. It was no small ask, she knew, at a time like this when he must have been desperate for something to hold onto. In the midst of mourning his wife, his friends, his home, he was still one of the luckier ones, that he had family who had left before the massacre. At last he said, "I could do a week."

Tifa offered him a smile. "Believe me, I want to find him, too. I'll finally have some good news for him, that his father's alive."

Mr. Hirsch nodded thoughtfully. "Wonder if he'll be a little starstruck?"

"What?"

"Meeting the leader of AVALANCHE? You know he idolized you before you became anybody famous."

Tifa tucked her hair behind her ear. "I don't think I'm famous..."

"Near enough I think I'd better get your picture, once I get myself a camera again."

"Well... in that case, I'll be sure to sign it for you, too," Tifa decided.

Mr. Hirsch smiled, but it faded again. "Wonder where the others are going to wind up," he said. "Felix and Birgit were talking about going back..."

"To Nibelheim?"

"Said they wanted to see it for themselves. I'm not sure what that's going to accomplish, if the Shinra rebuilt it like you said. Sounds like a nightmare to me."

"It... was pretty unpleasant," Tifa agreed. "But I think I get it. I know... when I was in the hospital, part of me wanted to go back, too. Like there was some chance I'd find out it was all in my head, and everyone was fine."

Mr. Hirsch was quiet for a moment before he shook his head. "I'm confident enough it wasn't a mass hallucination. I don't want to go back there knowing I'll only find strangers in my house, and not..."

Tifa touched his arm, but he quickly shook his head again before she could say anything.

"I'm all right. Sorry, Tifa."

"There's nothing to apologize for."

"No. I know you've grown up, but you're still so young, and you've already got so many responsibilities. I don't want to lean on you."

"Then who are you going to lean on?"

"Plenty of nice folk around here," he said. "I'll get by."

Tifa nodded, and let it go. In a way it was an odd dynamic, her trying to be his support. She wondered if he felt it, too. They knew each other better than most of the survivors, but he'd been her friend's father, closer to an uncle than anything else. He'd looked after her sometimes, helped her with schoolwork, scolded her for 'going along' with what he assumed were his son's shenanigans.

And now, not only was she grown, but she'd had years to try to process a grief that he'd only begun to comprehend. As much as it still defined her, she'd moved on from that tragedy. She'd found a new family and committed herself to a cause.

What would it have been like with her father, she wondered, if he'd been among them? What would he make of her friends, her choices? What would he think of her now?

He'd never have liked the danger she put herself in, but she hoped he could have been proud all the same.

She ran into Cloud at the pub, grabbing a late lunch. Tifa glanced around as she joined him.

"Where's Zack?" she wondered. The two of them tended to be joined at the hip, too.

"He took Warren and Sash for a hike in the canyon," Cloud explained. "They were going a little stir-crazy."

Warren and Sash--the last two 'clones' they'd rescued from the Temple. Unlike the others, they'd once been members of SOLDIER, and without the same familiar faces, their memories were slower to return. Their scars suggested they'd been seriously wounded before becoming a part of Hojo's experiment, but neither of them could recall the incidents.

"A hike?" Tifa wondered. "Are you sure they're up for that?"

"He promised they'd take it easy. And I told him he won't get any sympathy from me if he overdoes it."

"Tough love, huh?"

Cloud shrugged. "Sometimes it's what works."

"How come you didn't go with?"

"I don't exactly have any stories about being in SOLDIER, to help them remember. I don't know. They seem all right, but a lot of those guys were... pretty elitist."

"I do wonder about them," Tifa said. "They must've been loyal to Shinra, before. But, I can't imagine anyone more qualified to help them work through that."

Cloud nodded, and he poked thoughtfully at his food. "I guess... they might wind up wanting to fight, too," he considered. "Would you let them join AVALANCHE?"

"...maybe," she said cautiously. Ex-SOLDIER... That wasn't really any different from Zack, was it? "I'd have to vet them for myself, and I haven't spent a lot of time with those two."

"Me neither," Cloud admitted. "It's weird, though. Being around everybody else."

"What do you mean?"

Cloud hesitated, searching for his words. "You... always belonged," he said. "But, back then, people only noticed me when I was getting in trouble. Now, it's totally different. They talk to me like we're old friends. It's like Mr. Hirsch doesn't even remember how many fights I got into with Kyle."

"I think part of that's time," she reasoned. "We grew up, those old fights don't matter anymore. But also... after all we've lost, everything we have left is so precious."

"Hm."

Tifa searched his face. She'd realized that the Nibelheim he'd grown up in had been a good deal lonelier than hers, and she'd never really know how that complicated his feelings for it now. "I'm sorry that's how things used to be," she offered. "I know I didn't help any."

Cloud shook his head. "It's okay. You didn't owe me anything. We were just kids."

"You remember that silly promise we made?" she wondered.

"Yeah," he said with a wry smile. "I remember."

"Kind of a lot to ask of someone, considering the trouble I get myself into... But I guess you kept it after all, huh?"

"Did I?"

"You helped me save the world, didn't you?"

Cloud scratched his head. "Is that really the kind of rescue you were talking about?"

"...I guess not," she admitted. "But, that's all right then. Maybe we were both a little confused back then anyway."

"Never said I was gay," said Cloud.

Tifa blinked. "Oh?"

"I just... got over it."

"You met Zack," she concluded.

"...yeah."

"...aren't you glad I stole his girlfriend?"

Cloud laughed, and she could see it in his eyes, too, as they met hers. "Yeah," he said. "Thanks for that."

"So how are things going between you?"

He dropped his gaze, bashful. "Um... good. I don't know what I'm doing, but it's... good."

Tifa smiled. "I know what you mean."

"We're headed for Gongaga in a few days," Cloud went on. "Any tips on dealing with his parents?"

Tifa nearly pointed out that she'd never met them, but she knew that wasn't what he was asking. Elmyra had opted to stay in Cosmo Canyon over going off to Wutai, where her husband had fought and died. Tifa had spent some time with her the past few days, and they were getting on all right, though it wasn't the easy rapport Elmyra had developed with Wedge.

"Well..." she considered. "Parents like it when you look after their kids, so let them know you're getting Zack out of trouble more than you're getting him into it, and you should be all right. I heard you made a good first impression already."

Cloud nodded, hesitated, and then asked, "Did Elmyra already know Aeris is bi?"

"Oh... Yeah. She knew." Tifa frowned. "I guess... I can't really help you there. I never had to come out to anyone--I didn't realize, back in Nibelheim."

"Me neither."

"Is Zack worried about it?"

Cloud shrugged. "I'm not sure. He's worried about something, but there's plenty of other stuff he hasn't told them about either."

"Well... One thing about our lives, we can always say we've survived worse. I hope it goes well, but if it doesn't, you'll make it through."

"When you put it that way..."

Tifa tucked her hair behind her ear. "Maybe it's a little extreme," she said.

"No, you're right," said Cloud. "If I can handle Sephiroth in my head, I can handle Zack's parents." He gave her a wry smile. "Somehow or other."

"Let me know how it goes, okay?"

"Yeah. But you're headed off on your vacation soon, right?"

"Once Aeris gets back with the others. I guess we'll be out of touch for a little while..." Which was fine for now, when the news they might have to report to each other wasn't urgent, but it would be a problem soon enough. "Once AVALANCHE has some funds again, our first order of business really ought to be getting everyone phones so we can keep in contact. Especially if we're going to be running multiple fronts."

Cloud scratched his head. "I'm not great on the phone."

"We can text?" Tifa suggested.

"...sure."

"There's one other thing... I've been thinking about, for when we're active again," she went on, but she hesitated to say it now.

"What is it?" Cloud asked.

"I think, for our first mission... we ought to go back to Nibelheim one last time, to wipe that reactor off the map."

Cloud met her gaze, and she knew they understood each other exactly. That was where the nightmare had begun, a place that held nothing but ugly memories for both of them. They couldn't erase those memories or the scars they'd left, but the reactor was one remnant of that awful day that they could destroy completely. If it was good for the Planet, too, that was just an added benefit.

"Don't do it without me," said Cloud.

Tifa nodded. "I won't."

She wondered, later, if the Planet's wounds were anything like her feelings about Nibelheim. Aeris had said that the Northern Crater had finally begun to heal, and Tifa felt a change in herself, with Sephiroth gone, but those wounds still ran deep. That anger had been with her for years, digging at her. A strength in some ways, but in other ways, something that held her back.

But did the Planet have the capacity for hatred? She couldn't recall Aeris ascribing anger to it. The Planet was frightened of what Jenova and Sephiroth and the Shinra meant for it, and it was glad when the danger passed, but did it bear them any animosity?

Or would it be like hating yourself, when it comes to the Shinra? Because even they came from you?

Silence answered her, but she could hardly have expected to understand an answer to that, even if she could hear one. Tifa smiled wryly at herself. Maybe we'd better start with something simpler, if we're ever going to reach each other.

She might understand hurt, but she didn't think that was what tied them together. What she'd felt when Holy came... the fulfillment of a promise, the conclusion to a conversation she didn't know she'd been having. It was hope that connected them--a compassionate hope. A hope that had healed the survivors of Nibelheim, and given them a future, as hard as things might be for them now.

Aeris was always talking about the future. Do you dream about it, too? Or has it been hard until lately? You haven't been able to think about anything else but the pain you were in?

I've been like that, too. But now, there's space... Did Holy give you space to imagine the future? Are you feeling stronger again? Do you think, in time, you'll take back even a place like Midgar?

It was hard to say whether she heard any reply at all. But when she tried Bugenhagen's machine, in place of the wailing they'd heard on their first visit, there was only a low hum that had the familiarity of a song she couldn't quite place.

Little by little, she thought. She'd keep trying, and maybe one day she'd hear the answer.

Aeris and the others, excepting Yuffie, returned on the Highwind the following evening. Tifa tried to keep her excitement in check, but Aeris leapt into her arms, nearly bowling her over, and planted a kiss on her face in front of everyone. Tifa couldn't say she minded.

The trip to Wutai hadn't been quite the success they'd hoped for, but Yuffie meant to recruit even without Godo's approval, and one weaponsmith had already agreed to supply them. They had dropped Shera off at Rocket Town on the return trip, and Jessie related that the mechanic might do some recruiting of her own. It was a start, and in another month, who knew?

They were all in a fine mood, and Tifa gathered that some things had happened more significant than their failed meeting with Lord Godo. Marlene kept referring to Yuffie as her 'big sis,' and Barret confessed that he'd inadvertently adopted another daughter--but if she'd met Godo for herself, she might have done the same, he said. Tifa smiled and shrugged. She was happy to add another member to the family.

"There is definitely something going on between Barret and Jessie," Aeris confided when it was just the two of them.

"You're not wrong," said Tifa, knowing Aeris would see right through her if she denied it. "Jessie told me about it before you all left for Wutai, but they're trying to keep it quiet for now. So don't tell anyone else."

Aeris smiled triumphantly. "I told you they'd make a good couple."

"Hey, I never said they wouldn't. But it's good to see Barret letting himself move on."

"Seems like a common theme lately. Everyone's got some weight they're finally finding ways to let go of."

"Yeah... Even Yuffie, I guess. I'm glad she's finding her place with us."

"Me, too," Aeris agreed. "And I think she really hears it, Tifa. The Planet, I mean. She took me up to the top of Da-chao and we listened together, and the way she describes it... I know she's hearing the Planet. I'm sure of it."

"I'm glad," Tifa said again, and she wished she had something more to offer.

"What is it?" Aeris asked, sensing her hesitation.

Tifa shook her head. "I don't want to get your hopes up. It's just... I try to talk to the Planet. But I don't know if it hears me, and I'm not sure if I hear anything back or not. It could just be my imagination."

Aeris smiled and took both of Tifa's hands in hers. "Or it might not be," said. "You'll know, in time. I'm really glad you're still trying."

How could she not, when even trying made Aeris so happy?

They left again the following morning--just her and Aeris, bound for somewhere new. Again it took most of the day to reach it, and, unfamiliar with the area, they opted to spend the night on the Highwind. In the morning, they left the airship behind and set out on foot.

They walked along the shore a ways, the ocean waves rolling up onto a long stretch of beach, until at last they found a path leading inland. Before long, the forest of palms opened up onto the village of Mideel.

Neither Tifa nor Aeris had ever heard of it, but they'd asked at Cosmo Canyon about some of the more isolated places on their map. Devoid of strategic value or political influence, Mideel was a place untouched by Shinra. And Tifa thought it fitting that they spend their vacation close to the ocean.

"Well, hello there!" an old man hailed them as they came up from the path. "Now where'd you two beauties wash ashore from?"

"Far from here, that's for sure," said Tifa. "Do you get many tourists here?"

"Can't say as we do," he said. "This is just a sleepy town full of old folks like me."

They quickly gathered that Mideel had no inn to speak of, but given the state of their funds, Tifa hadn't planned on finding accommodations. Instead they made camp a little ways outside of town with gear they'd found aboard the Highwind, and returned to explore the town unburdened.

They located the general store and the grocer's, as well as an inexplicably fine weapons shop and one young woman selling handcrafted jewelry out of her home. There was no Mako anywhere, and almost no electricity. A single windmill turned lazily behind the clinic, providing it with some power.

Despite dealing so rarely with outsiders, the locals were all friendly, as though they'd never had a bad experience with anyone. No one was in any hurry, either, and they allowed another old man to waylay them for the better part of the morning, telling them stories about his younger days as a fisherman. Afterwards, they had themselves a leisurely picnic on the beach, undisturbed by anyone besides a few seagulls.

"You think we could make it to that island out there?" Aeris wondered, looking out at the stretch of land just visible on the horizon.

"If I'm remembering the map right, it's the same island. It just hooks around. So we could probably walk there."

"But could we swim to it?"

Tifa looked Aeris over appraisingly. "You might need more practice," she said, "but I bet we could."

Aeris nodded. "I'm making that my goal for the week," she decided. "I'm going to become a real world-class swimmer."

"Then maybe we'd better get to work."

"Us and what swimsuits?" Aeris asked slyly, and Tifa knew she was seconds from suggesting skinny dipping.

There was no one around, but out in broad daylight still felt pretty exposed to Tifa. Plus, she wasn't sure they'd actually get any work done.

"We can swim in our underwear," she proposed instead.

Aeris was clearly disappointed, but it didn't last. The weather was warm here, and the water was cool and calm, and it felt good on their skin. When they'd worn themselves out, they let the sun dry them, and they watched it set over the western horizon, setting the water ablaze in yellow and orange.

Back in town, the locals gave them directions to the nearby hot springs, up the path beyond the clinic. They passed a pair of older women headed back into town, but found the springs empty when they reached them. Water cascaded gently through a series of pools, sheltered from sight by the palm forest around them and by the falling twilight.

"This seems private," Aeris noted, throwing her a glance.

"It does, doesn't it?" Tifa agreed. It would be safe enough here, wouldn't it?

They left their clothes folded on the rocks and stepped into one of the pools. Aeris sank into the water with a contented hum, and closed her eyes.

Tifa settled into the spring, marvelling at the calm she felt. Even glancing down at the scar across her chest, jagged and pale, didn't conjure the same feelings it once had. It would always be a reminder of that day, but it no longer felt like a brand, a sign of her failure. She'd killed the man who'd given it to her, and vengeance had been served.

And she'd promised herself she'd never go so far again. No more collateral damage, and no more assassination plots for Rufus, she supposed. When they got hold of him, the lucky bastard could have all the time he wanted to reflect on his mistakes, and maybe he'd change his tune before he was an old man. Maybe. They'd give him the choice, anyway.

Her scar wasn't likely to fade much more, but maybe she didn't need it hidden any longer. It could be nothing more than a mark of survival; her body had healed, and her heart was healing.

She lifted her gaze. The dark of the sky deepened overhead, and even through the overhanging palm fronds and the faint mist around them, the stars began to show themselves.

She wouldn't be able to see them so clearly in Kalm, she realized, but it would be much more than Midgar had offered her. Sometimes, she could let Marlene stay up past her bedtime, and teach her the constellations she remembered from her own childhood. They could find stability again there, in time.

"What are you thinking about over there?" Aeris asked her.

Tifa looked over at her. Her eyes twinkled in the starlight, that warm gaze that had always drawn Tifa right in. Drawn her out of herself.

"Oh, just... the future," she said.

"Do share."

"I'm not sure it's all that exciting. You might be disappointed."

"Tell me anyway," Aeris insisted. "Besides, the first time we went out, you couldn't imagine anything at all. Even if it's boring, it's progress."

"Well... I was thinking about getting settled in Kalm," Tifa said. "We'll probably be pretty cramped for a while, whatever place we wind up renting, but that might not be so bad. And I've got to get a job, if we're going to afford it. Hopefully someone could use a cook or a bartender."

"It could be cozy," said Aeris. "But, why are you the one supporting everyone?"

"I guess it's what I'm used to. I was the one whose job was mostly legal."

"Mostly?"

"Jessie forged our liquor license."

"You know, I bet she could make an honest living if she wanted to."

"Oh, I'm sure she could," Tifa agreed. "But, AVALANCHE is going to need her."

Aeris shifted closer to her and gave her shoulder a nudge. "We won't need our leader?"

"I figured I'd delegate," Tifa reasoned.

"Taking more of a backseat approach, huh?"

"Not always, but I guess so. I just... want something that feels normal for a while."

"I understand," said Aeris, and she tilted her head back, looking up at the stars, too. "Hmm... I wonder if anyone in Kalm could use a gardener?"

"I'm sure you could persuade them that they do."

"You know, I bet you're right. People weren't exactly clamoring for flowers in the slums before I started growing them."

"I do wish I'd known about it," said Tifa. "I could've filled the bar with flowers. I would've been your best customer."

Aeris smiled. "We could still make that work, if you plan on opening another bar someday. I could have my flower shop right next door."

"Sounds perfect."

But Aeris grew quiet then, her smile fading into a faraway look. "On the other hand..."

"What?"

"Oh, I don't know," she said. "If I were to teach people to hear the Planet again... But I've barely even started, you know? None of you hear it the way I do, yet."

"I'm... probably not going to be your first success case, but we're getting there, right?"

"Yeah. But ultimately, I want it to spread beyond us. I just don't know how yet. I don't think I'm ready to share it with strangers."

"You don't have to be. A little at a time, all right?"

"Yeah..."

Tifa looked at her face in the starlight, still uncertain. Something else about the idea made Aeris uneasy, but Tifa didn't think it was the potential danger of revealing herself to strangers. Even as she found success, and the ideas took root, there would be no better teacher than Aeris for some time. For it to really spread beyond their friends, she couldn't stay in Kalm. And Tifa was talking about making her life there, like she'd never leave it.

"It'll be all right, you know," she said, "if it turns out you don't want to be that settled. We'll figure it out."

Aeris looked at her in surprise, and then smiled, shaking her head. "I don't want to be a nomad," she said. "I need roots somewhere."

"So put them down wherever I am. It'll be your place to come back to."

"Tifa..."

"What?"

"You're wonderful," said Aeris, leaning close to kiss her.

Tifa smiled at her, brushing her bangs from her face. "You're not so bad yourself."

Aeris shifted, her bare skin brushing against Tifa's, her movement making gentle waves through the spring. "I'm sure we'll still be in Kalm for a while," she said. "And I have some ideas on how to spice up your plans."

"I'm not sure we'll have our own room," said Tifa, having some inkling what those ideas were.

"Then we'll just have to live dangerously, won't we?"

This time, Tifa thought she could allow herself the intimacy, the plain fun of it. It was more than a little bold, going along with Aeris now, but they'd come a long way since that first date--even longer since Aeris had first asked her, and she hadn't permitted herself to accept. It was all right to be patient, but where was the sense in waiting on something that she wanted, that was here now at her fingertips?

She'd let loss drive her long enough. This was the time now for making new memories, for building the life that she wanted, without the constant fear that something would tear it away again.

"Well," Tifa decided, "I'll take that challenge."

Maybe she could afford to live dangerously now--not the danger of fighting, but of loving with abandon. She had space for that now, and, as Aeris might say, it was a lot more fun.


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