Chapter 24
Jessie's friends had grabbed breakfast before her, so she wound up sharing a meal with Elder Bugah, whom they'd met briefly the night before on finding Aeris at the pub. He was good company, friendly, eager for conversation, quick to laugh. Biggs would have liked him.
She listened to some of his thoughts on planet life, but it wasn't the only thing that interested her, and after breakfast he helped her track down one of the canyon's engineers. She wanted to know more about those windmills--how much energy they generated, how that compared to Mako and coal. Aside from some electric lights, the people of the canyon seemed to live fairly simply, but Bugenhagen's machines had to be a big power drain.
It was something Jessie had had trouble reconciling in the past. Her love of technology, against the knowledge that the energy that sustained it was destructive. But here was evidence that she could have it both ways. After AVALANCHE achieved its mission, she could still spend her days cobbling together computers and digging through lines of code, starting the projects she'd never had the time or resources for.
Not that there was nothing appealing about learning how to garden, but it would've been settling, if that was all she had to focus on in her retirement. She thought she'd like it as a hobby, but not a life.
She found Barret later at the bonfire, looking thoughtful, and she plopped down next to him.
"Learn anything interesting?" she asked.
"Talked a while with Elder Hargo," he said. "He doesn't think the Promised Land ever existed. Least, not like a place. He figured for the Ancients, it was just when they returned to the Planet, 'cause that wasn't somethin' they feared. Sorta like goin' to sleep knowin' you'd have good dreams."
"Is that anything like what Aeris said?" Jessie wondered.
"Dunno. Don't exactly contradict it. She was sayin' how Jenova'd never be able to find the Promised Land 'cause it's not from this Planet. It'd make sense, with what Bugenhagen told us, that it couldn't return to this Planet's Lifestream, right?"
"Yeah..." So what did happen to Jenova when they killed it? "It's too bad Shinra cancelled their space program. We could've bundled them both off in a rocket and shot them into space, back wherever they came from."
Barret snorted. "Ain't so sure they'd be into that."
"Well, Jenova crashed here, right? Maybe it never wanted to be here."
"Don't really care what it wants. It's tryin' to hurt the Planet, we gotta stop it. Simple as that."
"Heh." Jessie shook her head. "None of it's really been simple, has it?"
"Figure you gotta make it simple when you can."
"I guess you're right. You know, Biggs would've thought the same way. The Jenova Project, Sephiroth... it's a lot to deal with. We've gotta break it down into something we can handle."
Barret nodded, but he was frowning. "Hate to say it, but Aeris's probably the key to that. If Sephiroth wants somethin' from her, he ain't gonna wait around on it forever."
Jessie looked at him. "Are you talking about using her as bait?"
"I don't like it," he said again, "but that's about all we got on 'im, right?"
She sat back, brow furrowing. If they were going to confront Sephiroth, then ideally they'd want to control when and where. That meant either knowing where he was, which they didn't, or having something he needed.
"Unless we can figure out whatever connection Cloud and the other 'clones' have to him... probably," she admitted.
Barret nodded. "Guess we'll see what Tifa an' the others come back with. Could be this Zack guy knows more 'n we do. He's gotta be in better shape than Cloud, if he's goin' around on his own like that."
"I hope they find him. All this uncertainty has to be really hard on Aeris. Not knowing if he's alive or dead, or what kind of shape he's in..."
"Yeah," said Barret. "I know the feelin.'"
"Huh?"
His mouth twisted and he tapped his thumb on the ground, considering something. At last he said, "I told Tifa this already, but... I dunno 'bout Dyne. If he survived or not. That's what she was really askin' after, back in North Corel."
"Oh..." Jessie thought back to that day. How Tifa had insisted on speaking to the refugees alone, how she'd come back with the same thing to say as the others. Barret still didn't know. "Well... maybe after all this business with Sephiroth is over, we can look for him. I'd kind of like to get into Shinra's database somehow. They're always collecting intel on people, maybe they've got something."
"Maybe."
"Seems like there's a lot of people we could stand to find," she observed. "Zack... Dyne... Lucrecia..."
Barret grimaced. "Sephiroth's mother?"
"Well, you know. She'd certainly know a lot, and maybe she'd help us. She was important to Vincent, too."
"Oh. Hm."
"For someone who doesn't talk much, he's surprisingly open about his feelings for her."
Barret shook his head. "Think the most I've heard 'im say is when he told me he wasn't a vampire."
It was true, he'd done most of his talking in that basement, when they'd first found him and pressed him with questions. But they'd never asked him how he felt about Lucrecia; he'd volunteered it. Of all the things he considered private, that wasn't one of them.
Jessie frowned.
"Barret, can I ask you something that's probably pretty uncomfortable? And you don't have to answer."
He glanced at her, guarded. "...yeah, all right."
"How come you never talk about your wife?"
Barret looked away, and she thought maybe she shouldn't have asked at all. "...never felt like I deserved to," he said.
"Like you deserved to talk about her?" Jessie repeated, puzzled.
"Yeah. Folks get sympathetic, an' that ain't right when it's my fault she died."
Jessie wanted to tell him that it wasn't, but they'd tried that road already. He wasn't at a place yet where he could forgive himself. But it didn't feel right to her to leave it at that, to leave it all unspoken because of his guilt. Wouldn't Biggs have hated it if they never spoke of him again?
"You think she'd want to be forgotten?" she asked.
"What?" Barret looked at her in alarm and he shook his head emphatically. "No! 'course not. I haven't forgotten her."
"I know you haven't, but if you never talk about her... What happens to her memory, if something happens to you? Marlene doesn't even know she existed."
"That ain't really..."
"Doesn't it have everything to do with her?" Jessie broke in. "You can tell me if I'm out of line, but... even if you never talk about her with the rest of us, I think Marlene deserves to know. She's your family, so she should know about the rest of her family, about where she came from."
His hand clenched, and unclenched. "...always figured it'd be a burden on her. I don't wanna bring her heartache like that."
"She's gonna get curious eventually. I'm not saying you tell her now... She's pretty young, and I'm not sure she... really understands that Biggs isn't coming back. But she should know, I think."
Barret nodded slowly. "Yeah. Guess you're right," he admitted. After a pause, he went on, "Ain't like she never knew Myrna, exactly. We watched her sometimes when she was a baby, so Dyne an' Eleanor could have some time to themselves. Myrna loved it. Used to say, when she got better, we'd have one of our own."
Jessie had heard a lot about his feelings on Shinra over the years, she knew now the past that had led him to form AVALANCHE, she knew his hopes for the future and for Marlene... but she felt that this small detail was the most intimate thing he'd ever shared with her.
"...when she got better?" she echoed cautiously.
"She'd been sick for a while," he explained. "But she was the toughest woman I knew, always said she'd beat it."
"That's why you supported the reactor, wasn't it? You wanted that life with her."
"...yeah. That was a big part of it."
And then the Shinra had stolen it from him. Not just the future he'd hoped to have with Myrna, but the thought that he deserved a future like it at all.
"Well," Jessie said, "maybe I never knew her, but I don't think someone who wanted to raise a family with you would want you to beat yourself up over what happened. I think... she'd be real glad that you have Marlene."
"...maybe. Ain't so easy to let go of."
"I know. But maybe this is a start? Tifa was saying to me that maybe it's still so hard for you both because you never talked to anyone about it until lately. I know you say you don't want sympathy, but... that's kind of what you get when you make friends with people."
Barret snorted. "Gonna get it whether I talk or not, is that what you're sayin'?"
"Basically."
"Guess I'll think on it," he said with a shake of his head. "But we got other stuff to worry 'bout right now."
"That doesn't mean I can't listen," Jessie pointed out.
"Nah, that ain't what I mean. I don't wanna be a mess right now, is what. Wasn't much use 'round the time we went through Corel, if you remember."
"Oh. Well... That was understandable."
Barret shrugged. "Maybe. But I'm gonna focus on what I gotta focus on right now."
"All right," Jessie said. Putting it off until he had space to feel whatever he might feel wasn't avoiding it, she thought. Not like a flat refusal to talk about it.
"So, what'd you find out?" Barret asked her.
"Oh... A lot of technical specs," she said. "I won't bore you with the details, but I'm really excited about this wind energy. I don't think it'll work everywhere, but it's part of a solution, right? You and I both know people won't want to go back to the old ways after living with the convenience of Mako for so long."
Barret nodded. "Probably a little too used to it ourselves."
"We did survive a night in that farmhouse," Jessie pointed out. "And plenty of nights now out under the stars."
"Yeah, an' look who stayed up half the night fiddlin' with a telescope."
"Hey, you can't be trying to argue that I'm used to telescopes. I've never seen one before!"
Barret chuckled. "Fair point," he admitted.
On the far side of the bonfire, Vincent stepped out from the pub and stood for a moment in the daylight before turning to walk on. Jessie had to wonder what he was up to. He'd been present for the morning's meeting, but they'd left him to his own devices afterwards. She had no idea if he intended to learn from the people of the canyon, or if he only meant to help when specifically asked.
"Still hopin' for a little one-on-one social interaction?" Barret teased.
"Nothin' wrong with that, is there?" she replied.
"Ahh, go on," he said, waving her off. "I don't get it, but this one's probably gonna take some work, huh?"
Jessie grinned. "Oh, it's definitely a long shot, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the view."
She hopped down from the bonfire's raised platform and caught up with Vincent, falling into step beside him. "Hey, Vincent," she said.
He nodded in reply. Now that she was closer, she could see that his hair was damp, like he'd just taken a bath... and then changed into the exact same clothes. Well, not like he had anything else, she guessed.
"How long have you been wearing that?" she wondered.
Vincent glanced at her. Of course the answer, like most things, was probably 'thirty years.' Did the man not sweat anymore? His clothes had a musty smell, like old things boxed up in someone's basement, not like something a human being had been wearing day in and day out for that long. Or maybe it was a product of the kind of hibernation he'd been in. After all, he appeared to be breathing now.
She had so many questions that he definitely wouldn't answer. And the one she'd blurted out was 'How long have you been wearing that?'
"I just thought maybe you'd like something else," she went on. "I mean, it's summer, and that looks pretty heavy."
"I'm fine," he said. "I have no money anyway."
"Oh, well, that's all right. We generally pool ours, except for Yuffie. So I could buy you something if you want."
"That isn't necessary."
"Oh... All right."
Vincent stopped and turned to her. "Did you need something?" he asked.
She worried she was annoying him, but there was no way to know for sure unless he told her as much, so she wouldn't assume. "I was wondering if you'd like to see Bugenhagen's planetarium!" she said instead. "Aeris mentioned you were hanging around up there yesterday, but I don't know if you've seen the inside."
"I haven't," he said.
"Do you want to? Bugenhagen showed me how to turn it on, and I've figured out a lot about how it works on my own. It's pretty cool. And, you know, educational, if that's your deal."
Vincent glanced upwards, saying nothing.
"Or were you busy?" she asked. Best to offer him an out.
"No... I suppose I can go."
Or maybe he was the sort who had trouble giving himself permission to say yes, Jessie considered. After all, he'd been so consumed with guilt that he hadn't done anything but wallow in it for decades. What was it like to be out in the world again after so long? How hard was even the smallest decision?
Jessie led the way up to the observatory and cheerfully held the door open into the planetarium. "After you."
When they were both on the platform, she clicked off the lights and switched on the machine. The platform lifted them into the dome of the planetarium, and the model of the solar system surrounded them.
Vincent turned in a slow circle, taking it all in. She couldn't discern any curiosity in his expression, but at least he cared enough to look.
"All of this is generated from data collected by that telescope up top," she explained, "making it the most accurate model modern technology can provide. And it's interactive." She demonstrated, making the hand motion to zoom in on their Planet--and thankfully, doing it correctly instead of sending the Planet careening off into space like she'd done a few times the night before.
"This has to be one of the most accurate models of our Planet, too," she went on. "Apparently they've lost the signal, but this observatory used to be tapped into one of the satellites Shinra launched back during the space program. So all this, is exactly what our Planet looked like from space less than a year ago. See? Here's where we are, in Cosmo Canyon. And this is Midgar over here... I guess this is your first real look at it, huh?"
"Yes," he said. "I only heard they had begun construction."
Jessie shook her head. "I can't even imagine... Thirty years is a lot to miss. Almost all the events of my lifetime happened while you were sleeping. Midgar's construction, the entirety of the Wutai War, the disasters at Nibelheim and Corel... Mako wasn't even that common back then, was it?"
"No. Nibelheim's reactor was a prototype."
"Do you even know, then, what it's done to the Planet?" Jessie wondered. She gestured to the expanse of wasteland that surrounded Midgar. "All of this... That's because of Midgar. Because of its reactors."
Vincent said nothing.
"That's what AVALANCHE has been fighting," she said. "I don't know if anyone's done a good job explaining to you who we are. We've been fighting for the Planet--to stop Shinra, and the reactors. But then, Sephiroth showed up. Tifa said he could be even more dangerous than the Shinra, and it seems like she's right."
"One man... more dangerous than the entire company."
"I know. It's a little unreal. But even back during the war, he was a big deal. I'm not sure he lost a single battle. And now... he plowed through those soldiers at the Shinra building like they were nothing."
Vincent met her gaze, and Jessie felt like he'd never actually looked at her so directly before. It was intense. "Have you met him?" he asked.
"Not exactly," she admitted. "Just had a few glimpses."
"But based on what Tifa has told you, you believe the only way to stop him is to kill him?"
"Well, I don't think there's a prison that could hold him."
Vincent shook his head. "I mean to say... You don't believe he could be reasoned with."
Jessie was taken aback. "After everything he's done? No way."
Vincent frowned, and his gaze left her. Only then did she realize exactly what she'd said.
"Look," she faltered, "I know he's her kid, but family isn't about blood in my experience."
"She wanted them to be family," he said. "But... I fear Lucrecia must be dead. She would never have raised her son to become such a man."
"I'm sorry, Vincent."
"It's my fault. I could have stopped all of this."
Jessie sighed. Well, she'd known perfectly well that she'd be dealing with another man who blamed himself for the loss of the woman he'd loved.
"You said it was her choice, right?" she said. "So, if you couldn't persuade her, what were you supposed to do? Kidnap her? Kill Professor Gast and Hojo? That wouldn't show much respect for her and her right to decide."
"But she would be alive," said Vincent. "It would be all right if she hated me for it."
Jessie shook her head. "You're saying that now, with the benefit of hindsight. You couldn't have done anything like that if you really loved her."
"I could have kept trying. Instead I did nothing. I watched."
She wondered if he'd considered it his punishment to maintain that level of detachment. To continue sitting on the sidelines, feeling responsible for every terrible consequence. But something had changed his mind. He'd chosen to act.
"If doing nothing is a sin, then we're all complicit in something," she reasoned. "I knew Shinra was bad news for years before I ever met Barret and Tifa, but I was just the girl who did fake IDs. But you know, that's not where I'm at anymore. And if you're really with us, then you're not standing by anymore either."
Vincent glanced at her, and this time she thought there was some curiosity in it, but he didn't say anything.
"So, uh, do you think you will? Join AVALANCHE, I mean."
"I don't know," he said, his gaze falling on the model of the Planet, and Midgar.
Jessie scratched her head. "I guess you might want to get your bearings before making any big decisions. See the state of the world for yourself."
"I have missed... many things," he said. Then he frowned, and looked to the door. "Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
"Gunfire."
Jessie couldn't make out a thing over the hum of machinery, but she trusted him not to be making it up. She shut off the planetarium display, and they rushed out of the observatory.
Down below, Shinra soldiers stood at the gate, detaining Ira the gatekeeper, but none of the other people of the canyon were anywhere to be seen. Barret was pinned down on the far side of the bonfire, exchanging fire with a pair of dark-suited individuals nearer to the entrance. He might have made a break for the pub, but there were people there, and he'd avoid putting them in danger unless he had to.
Vincent was down the ladder before Jessie could say a word to him. She hurried after.
Jessie didn't have any weapons on her. She'd thought it would be disrespectful to the peace these people advocated, but it was bad luck now. They took the risk of going out onto the upper landing to get around to the weapons store, and Jessie ran to the counter, finding the shopkeeper hiding behind it.
"You have any guns?" Jessie asked her breathlessly. "I'll pay you back later."
"Y-yes, but we don't sell real ammo here. Just blanks."
Jessie cursed mentally and joined Vincent at the doorway. There was no way they could make it down from here without taking fire; it was too exposed, in direct view of the soldiers at the gate. Even in the doorway, they had no cover, just shadow to obscure them from view, unlike the soldiers, who had a giant rock nearby they could duck behind. Vincent had his gun drawn, but he hadn't fired yet.
In the back of her mind, Jessie tried to count shots. How much ammo did Barret have left? How long would it last him?
Nanaki came bounding up behind them, craning his neck to look out over the landing to the situation below.
"Nanaki!" Jessie exclaimed in a whisper, not wanting to alert the soldiers to their presence. "Is there another way down from here?"
He shook his head. "Not without exposing ourselves to fire."
"Then this is our position," said Vincent.
There were a few empty crates nearby from some recent shipment, and they dragged one over to the doorway to give Vincent some cover. Then he motioned them back.
Jessie shared a glance with Nanaki, and they both moved back from the doorway, losing their view of the gate. If they couldn't do anything, there was no sense in exposing themselves to danger. Vincent crouched behind the crate, took careful aim, and fired off the first shot.
A shout rose up instantly from the soldiers; he must have found his mark. They returned fire, and their first wild volleys only glanced off the stone around the entrance, but she imagined it was intended to hold him off while they dashed for cover. Vincent remained unfazed, each of his shots careful and deliberate. But maybe he didn't have any to waste.
Below, the blonde Turk shouted an order to the soldiers to get their act together, and their aim began to steady. Bullets began to tear splinters off the crate, and Vincent flinched back as one glanced off his arm.
"Careful, Vincent!" Jessie said anxiously.
He ducked behind the crate to reload, but the soldiers' fire never let up, like they meant to punch enough holes in it to reach him. Vincent got off a few more shots before something struck him, and he grunted. He dropped back, planting his clawed hand against the floor.
"Vincent!" Jessie did have her Restore materia, and she fumbled for it. "Where were you hit?"
He didn't answer. She hurried forward and reached for him, intending to pull him back to safety and heal him.
"Get away from me," he snapped the moment her fingers brushed his arm.
"What?"
"Move," he growled, and the unexpectedly raw anger of that command forced her back again.
Vincent dropped his gun and doubled over, his back hunching. A low moan grew into a roar, and when he threw his head back, it was bestial and horned. Jessie tried to take another step back and nearly tripped over Nanaki.
The monster that had been Vincent shoved the crate aside and charged ahead down the steps. Jessie made it to the doorway in time to see him grab one of the soldiers with his clawed right hand, smash him into the rock he'd been using for cover, and hurl him over the drop behind it. He was probably dead before he hit the bottom. The monster disappeared behind the rock, and the other soldiers screamed.
Materia clutched to her chest, Jessie could feel her own heart pounding. She exchanged glances with Nanaki, but neither of them spoke. Clearly Hojo had done more to Vincent than they'd thought, but had he known? Was he in control?
The screaming lasted only a few moments. Jessie retrieved Vincent's gun and ran after him, Nanaki close behind.
The soldiers at the gate were all dead, but though Ira sat on the ground shaking in terror, he appeared unharmed.
The two Turks had turned all their attention on the monster that was Vincent. He'd already mauled the man's arm, and the woman fired a full round into him, forcing him back only a few steps. She reached for a fresh clip while the man hurled off an ice spell to keep the monster at bay.
Jessie scanned past them, searching for Barret. She spotted him looking up over the bonfire platform. He met her gaze, and even across that distance, she read utter bafflement in his expression. She motioned him over.
The monster roared in anger and retaliated against the Turks with an intense fire magic. They stumbled back behind cover, and Jessie saw the light of a Cure spell being used. The monster stood panting. Had their attacks wounded him after all?
Cautiously, Jessie moved towards him, hoping to come within range to cast a Cure spell of her own. The monster looked at her sharply, making a low growl, and she stepped back again.
Barret reached her side. "The fuck's goin' on?" he asked. "That's Vincent's cape."
"That's Vincent," she said, shaking her head.
"Seriously?"
"Perhaps this is why he was locked up," Nanaki suggested.
"Hell..." Barret glanced behind them. "He's only attackin' the Shinra though."
But he wasn't attacking anything now. As they watched, the monster stumbled a few paces to a stand nearby and leaned against it with a left arm that was still metallic. He started to shrink, the horns receding into his skull and his skin returning to its pale hue. Vincent collapsed on the ground.
"We'd best make sure those Turks're still pinned down," Barret said, catching Nanaki's eye. The two of them ran ahead, while Jessie hurried to Vincent's side.
The monster's form was bigger than his, and although his clothes were loose-fitting, the transformation had ruined his boots and burst most of the buttons on his shirt. Jessie searched him anxiously for the bullet wounds that should have been there, but she found nothing.
Vincent was already struggling to sit up, his hand reaching to pull his shirt closed, and only then did she notice the old surgical scars. Jessie quickly helped him, doing up the few buttons that were still in tact.
"Secret's safe with me," she promised. It wasn't her place to tell, though she thought it would've been all right. They'd known plenty of trans people in the slums; Midgar attracted a lot of hopefuls, being one of the best places to get the surgery, but it wound up being too expensive for most of them. A Turk salary would probably do it, she thought.
Vincent grunted, and closed his eyes.
"You all right? I can still heal you, I just- I don't see any wounds."
"I'll be fine. Just tired."
Jessie hesitated. "Did you know?" she asked.
"...yes."
"Is that... Is that why you weren't sure about coming with us?"
"One reason," he said. He let out a breath and then shifted his weight to get up. Jessie offered him a hand, but he stood without taking it. Together they walked to where Barret had his gun arm trained on the two injured Turks. Nanaki, too, crouched ready for attack.
"Oh, man," said the woman at the sight of them--probably Vincent in particular. The man caught her eye and shook his head, and she bit back anything more she meant to say.
"Good," said Barret, nodding to Jessie and Vincent. "Could use a hand relievin' them o' their weapons."