Chapter 17

Everything came easier once she had heard Tifa's side of the story. Although she couldn't read the thoughts and memories that swirled through Cloud's mind, somehow she could still tell when one of them didn't fit the story she had heard. There remained some false memories so tangled up with the real ones that she had to leave them as they were, but she was sure that these, at least, wouldn't keep him from regaining his mind.

When at last Aeris opened her eyes, she felt thoroughly exhausted. It wasn't so much a bodily weariness, but a deep fatigue in her mind and heart. After guiding and sometimes even tearing so many voices away from Cloud, she felt as though a part of herself had vanished with them. She felt empty.

She glanced around, noting the change in the way the light slanted through the windows, and surmised that it was now sometime in the afternoon.

Tifa was watching her eagerly. "Did you--? Is he...?"

"I think so. There's nothing else I can do." She shook Cloud's arm to rouse him. "Cloud?"

"Hnn," he murmured, and for a minute that was the only response she got out of him.

"Cloud...?" Tifa said softly, her hope faltering.

But he opened his eyes on hearing her voice and looked around in disorientation. "Where...?" He caught sight of Aeris first. "Aeris? What are you doing here?"

Tifa leapt to her feet. "What is she doing here? Cloud, we've been looking after you, worried sick, for two days straight now!"

Cloud pushed himself up on his elbows, turning his startled gaze on Tifa. "What?"

"You fell into the Lifestream," Aeris explained wearily, "and got a bad case of Mako poisoning. This is a clinic in Mideel; some people found you washed up on the beach and brought you here. It's been a week since we left the Crater."

"Mako poisoning?" he wondered, looking down at the bed he found himself in, and then around the room again. "How...?"

"Aeris healed you," Tifa said. "You should thank her."

"...thanks, Aeris," he said. He was still disoriented and confused, and the sincerity was raw.

"You're welcome," she replied mechanically. Slowly, she got to her feet. The air seemed heavy on her shoulders, and she wanted nothing more than to curl up somewhere and sink into oblivion. "I'm very tired. I'm going to find the inn and get some rest."

Cloud threw aside the blanket, starting to get to his feet and briefly puzzled at not knowing the location of his boots. "We'll go with you," he said, with a brief glance at Tifa to assure himself that this was all right. "No point in staying here any longer."

"Right," Tifa confirmed.

Aeris faltered, looking back and forth between them. It seemed wrong somehow for them to simply take up the roles they'd carried before without a word of affection exchanged. "You two..." She struggled for some remark that could let them open up to each other, and came up empty.

"What is it, Aeris?" Cloud asked.

She stared at him. Surely he had no idea what had happened over the past week, but here he was, already beginning to assume his role as leader. To pick up where he'd left off, doubts forgotten. "Don't... don't you have some things to sort out?" she managed finally.

He glanced at Tifa, and some of the uncertainty returned. "Yeah, I guess I do. But... I need to know what's happened since. Both of you... could probably use some rest, too."

Aeris sighed and let it drop. "Yes. I'll... meet you back at the inn." She started for the door, but felt herself suddenly drifting. Her body wasn't tired, but her mind was slipping, trying to detach from reality.

She couldn't fight it. She didn't want to. After a moment's brief resistance, part of her reasoning that she should at least make it to the inn, she indulged her mental fatigue and lost consciousness.


"You're with those strange people?" the innkeeper asked when they inquired after where their friends were staying. She then glanced at the unconscious woman Cloud held in his arms and seemed to decide this was not so surprising after all. "They've got the two adjoining rooms at the end of the hall, on the right."

"Thank you," Tifa said, and led the way down the hall. Cloud followed, studying her from behind. She wasn't acting like someone who'd been worried sick about him, but he guessed that wouldn't be much like her. She was too strong to let a friend's injury keep her down, especially now that he'd recovered.

Cid was the only one in the first room, and he jumped up when he saw them. "Cloud, you son of a bitch!" he exclaimed. "What the fuck were you doing makin' everybody worry?"

"...sorry," he offered.

"Apologize to Tifa, not me. And shit, did Aeris wear herself out again healin' you?"

"Yes, Cid, she did," Tifa answered patiently. "So lower your voice, she needs her rest."

Cid ran a hand through his hair. "Heh... Right."

Cloud walked past him and laid Aeris down on one of the beds. "Where are the...?" he began, but stopped as the door to the next room burst open to admit Barret, Nanaki and Cait Sith trailing after.

"Damn, Cloud," Barret cursed, though he looked glad to see him. "You go off makin' everybody worry 'bout your spiky ass, and now you're just fine, huh?"

"Thanks to Aeris," Cloud said, shrugging uncomfortably.

"It's good to have you back, Cloud," Cait Sith said amicably. "Everybody's yelling at you, I know, but we're all glad you're okay."

"Thanks," he said, hoping that would be the end of it. They were all so glad to have him back, it was like they'd forgotten what he had done before they lost him. The memory was fuzzy, and he'd almost forgotten it himself, but he couldn't let that happen. He didn't deserve being allowed to come back like this, and once he was caught up, he'd have to think about whether he could really stay.

"Where are the others?" Tifa asked, looking around.

"Yuffie dragged 'em out," Cid answered. "Said Reno and Reeve needed new clothes, and I guess she's right. They don't need to look like Shinra bastards anymore."

Cloud gave a start. "Reno and Reeve?" He had definitely missed something there.

"Shit, Tifa, you didn't fill him in on what's happened?"

She shook her head. "I don't think I'm the best one to tell it, since... well, you know."

Cloud looked at her in confusion. "Since what?"

"She prob'ly don't want you to know," Barret said, "but Tifa collapsed after you gave Sephiroth the Black Materia. She couldn't stand thinkin' you might be dead."

"She was comatose for days," Nanaki added.

He looked at Tifa in shock. As long as he'd known her, if he'd really known her, she'd always been able to keep moving forward. She could get emotional and rush into dangerous situations, but she never just gave up. He'd admired that about her. "You... were that worried about me?"

She avoided his stunned gaze and didn't answer.

"Tifa, I'm not even--"

"No, you are," she interrupted now, looking back at him with a forced smile. "And anyway, you're my best friend, aren't you? I... I didn't want to think that I'd lost you. But it's all right now. You're back."

"Tifa..." He shook his head slowly. He definitely didn't deserve this. Even if he was somehow the Cloud she'd grown up with, he was so messed up. And how could he be? His memories of Nibelheim didn't match with hers, did they? Nothing about him was what it should have been. He couldn't even defy Sephiroth's will, however much he hated him. He'd been more of a hindrance than a help in everything they'd set out to accomplish. He didn't deserve Tifa standing there, caring about him like he really was her best friend. He wasn't even a whole person.

He felt her hand on his shoulder. "Cloud... I don't know what happened to you. I don't know why you remember the things you do. But I do know that you're Cloud, my Cloud, not anyone else. I'm sure of it."

"How can you be? Five years ago... I wasn't there, was I? I never came."

Tifa dropped her gaze, but her hand stayed on his shoulder. "If you came," she said quietly, "I never saw you. But... I don't think that proves you weren't there at all."

He frowned in confusion. "But Sephiroth and Zack were the only ones who went to Nibelheim."

She was quiet for a moment, and then she looked up at him, studying his face. "No," she said slowly. "That's not exactly right. There were two other men who came, only I never saw their faces or heard them speak. One of them was right there with us the whole time."

"But..."

"Were you really in SOLDIER, Cloud? I know you look like it, from your eyes. And you're strong enough, now, that you could be, but you were still so young, back then. There weren't too many in First Class."

It was true he had no memory of becoming First Class, but he couldn't remember joining Shinra's ranks at all. "I don't remember."

But a faint smile had come to her face anyway. "Maybe, that was your only lie here. When we disguised ourselves in Junon, the uniform was familiar, right? You'd worn it before."

Cloud shook his head. "That doesn't really prove anything, Tifa."

"Well," she said, "you just think on it. Maybe it'll start coming back to you. But you don't need to worry about it too much right now. I believe in you."

He was at a loss for words. He wanted to tell her she shouldn't, but he didn't know how to argue with her. He wanted to think she was right, too. She said it all with such conviction; who was he to say she was wrong when he had no idea of the answer?

"Damnit, Cloud, the hell are you waiting for?"

Cid's voice startled him back out of his thoughts. He'd forgotten the others were even there. "Huh?"

"You're supposed to kiss the girl!"

"W-what?" he stammered, feeling his face heat up at the suggestion. He glanced at Tifa, surprised to find her just as red.

She drew her hand back from his shoulder. "What are you talking about, Cid?" she asked, and he could hear her straining to keep her voice level.

"Oh, come on! You're both--"

"Cid," Nanaki interrupted. "Perhaps now is not the best time. We should update Cloud on all that's happened, and I am sure they would prefer privacy for such a thing."

Cloud was glad for the intervention, though he couldn't help a suspicious glance at the feline. The way he'd said that almost made it sound as though he agreed with Cid's suggestion.

"Fine," Cid sighed. "I'll explain."

There followed the most colorful explanation of events that Cloud had ever heard in his life, after which Tifa offered a dry thanks.

"So, Sephiroth has summoned Meteor?" Cloud asked quietly.

"Yes," Nanaki answered. "It became visible a few days ago."

"I'm really sorry, guys. I'm..."

"It's all right, Cloud," Tifa interrupted. "No one blames you."

"I should've been strong enough," he protested.

"Well, it's no use beating yourself up over it. We just have to figure out what to do next."

"Oh, good," came a new voice from the doorway. "It looks like you guys are through the sappy stuff already."

Cloud frowned and turned his attention in Reno's direction. Coming inside with him were Yuffie, Vincent, and a man who must have been Reeve. He didn't offer them any sort of greeting, leaving that up to someone else. The others already in the room didn't seem much more appreciative of his arrival.

"Did you have something to say, Reno?" Tifa asked.

"Actually, yeah," he said. "It looks like we might have some problems. Oh, and hi, Aeris."

Cloud blinked and turned to look. Sure enough, Aeris had just sat up. She still looked dead tired, but she was awake.

"Hi, Reno," she replied wearily. "What problems?"

"Shinra's trying to come up with a way to stop Meteor," Reeve explained. "They're planning to collect Huge Materia from all the reactors to use as a weapon."

"So?" Cid asked. "If it gets rid of Meteor, what do we care?"

"It won't work," said Aeris. "Meteor is too powerful."

"But they'd still wind up with one more weapon they could use to keep everyone else scared," Yuffie put in. "And we can't let that happen."

"So we gotta get the Huge Materia before the Shinra," Barret concluded.

"That's the idea," said Reeve.

"What is Huge Materia, exactly?" Tifa asked.

"It's hundreds of times more powerful than regular materia," Reno told her. "It may not be much use against Meteor, but if we got it for ourselves, we'd definitely stand a better chance against Sephiroth."

Cloud frowned again. It didn't feel right to have a Turk among them, contributing ideas like this. Even if his information was accurate, and even if he had saved Aeris and Nanaki, he was a Turk. The others had had a couple days to adjust, but for Cloud it was still a struggle not to draw his sword. "So, where do we go first?"

"It'd be better if we split up," Reno said.

"We've only got one airship," Cid stated.

"So we can drop people off and come back for them later."

"I don't like the idea of splitting up," Tifa said. "We only just got everyone back together again."

The others murmured their agreement, and the redhead sighed. "Fine, suit yourselves."

"We should go to North Corel," Reeve said. "I'm pretty sure that's where Scarlet said they'd be going first."

"North Corel?" Barret exclaimed. "Shit, let's go right now!"

"Calm down, Barret," Aeris said quietly. "They've got no reason to hurt the townspeople, and Tifa and I still need rest."

"We'll leave tomorrow morning then," Cloud decided. "Early."


The evening was still young, but no one had forgotten the frequent sleep-deprivation of their journey, and they were quick to take advantage of another opportunity for a good night's sleep. As usual, the inn hadn't had enough free beds to provide for such a large party, and they wound up with only six beds for the eight who wanted them.

Aeris slipped out into the hall during the ensuing argument, and Tifa decided to follow.

The Cetra didn't go far. She just sat down against the wall outside their rooms, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"Everything all right?" Tifa asked.

Aeris glanced up at her. "It's a little hard to think in the middle of all that, that's all."

"I can understand that," Tifa said, sitting down beside her. "What's on your mind?"

"Nothing. It's just been a long couple of days."

"I guess it has." Tifa fell silent for a while. Obviously it wasn't nothing, but she didn't know how to get Aeris to talk to her. "What happened with Sephiroth, and when the Shinra took you in... You can talk to us about it, if you want to."

"I don't."

She hadn't expected that blunt of a reply, and it threw her off. And it hurt, too, to think that she had trusted Aeris with some of her most painful memories just that day, but Aeris wouldn't even consider opening up to her. It wasn't that Aeris didn't trust her, she was sure. Probably, it was still too soon. A little more than a week ago, she'd still been Sephiroth's captive, and the days since then hadn't given her much time to sort things out. Tifa hadn't talked about Nibelheim for a long time even after she'd recovered from her injuries.

"Aeris," she began hesitantly, "maybe... maybe you should go home."

"Home?" Aeris repeated.

"Yeah. You need time, don't you? To figure things out. I don't think it does you any good to be on this journey. You've already done more than any of us. Let us take care of things from here."

The door to their left opened and Reno stepped out into the hallway, quietly closing the door behind him. He said nothing, and Aeris didn't seem to notice him.

"Where would I go? Home isn't safe anymore; the Shinra would find me."

"You could stay here," Tifa suggested. "Shinra has no influence here, and I'm sure the villagers would welcome you."

Aeris shook her head slowly. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I need to see him again."

Tifa gave a start. What did she mean by that? "Aeris..."

"I need to be sure. And when I am, I can decide whether to save him or kill him."

Tifa fell silent. She had never heard Aeris talk that way before, and she didn't know how to respond to it.

"Well," said Reno, "whatever's going on here, I'm glad you're sticking with us, 'ris."

"I know you are," the Cetra replied, slowly getting to her feet.

Even he seemed taken aback by her tone. "I mean," he continued awkwardly, "we kind of need you with us. You're an Ancient; you know better than any of us what's going on. When the world's ending and you're trying to stop it, that's kind of important."

She shook her head. "Not really. You just have to know what to do."

Tifa picked herself up off the floor. "I don't think we do know, Aeris," she said. "So if you want to keep helping us... well, I'm grateful."

"All I can do is try," Aeris said. She led the way back into the room, where one empty bed remained.

"Cloud's in the other room," Reno told Tifa. "I figure you'd rather sleep with him. Aeris, I guess you're with me."

Instead of rejecting the suggestion like the poor pick-up line it was, Aeris just nodded.

"What?" Tifa asked, giving Reno a sharp look.

"It's all right, Tifa," Aeris assured her. "It's not like he'd try anything."

"No privacy," Reno put in.

The brunette frowned. She couldn't help feeling like he was just taking advantage of Aeris's mood, but it was still Aeris's decision, in the end. "You had better behave yourself, Reno," she warned.

"Yes'm," he replied with a grin.

Tifa sighed and went on into the next room. Her mood brightened instantly on seeing Cloud already asleep there. He always looked so different in his sleep, without the cares of the waking world. She pulled off her boots and lay down next to him, just watching him for a long moment. He really was all right now. Whatever else was going on, Cloud was alive and well and right there beside her.


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