Chapter 16

Aeris woke after an hour's restless sleep aboard the Highwind. An uneasiness tugging at her, she made her way back out to the deck, where she found Yuffie, apparently unable to sleep either. They nodded tiredly at each other, and Aeris joined her at the railing. She noticed Yuffie's arm was still bandaged.

"Here," she said, motioning for the girl to show her. "Let me take care of that for you."

"Oh. Sure."

Yuffie let her look it over and cast the spell needed to heal it. She shouldn't have been using magic, not after how she'd exhausted herself already, but she didn't want to leave Yuffie with that wound.

"Thanks," Yuffie said when she'd finished.

"You should try to get some sleep," Aeris suggested, wondering if it was pain that had kept her awake.

But Yuffie shook her head. "I'm okay, for a while."

Aeris let it go at that. It was clear now something was on the young ninja's mind, but if the usually talkative girl wasn't going to bring it up, she wasn't about to pry. She had to admit, she wasn't in the mood for talking herself. She wanted to sleep, but something wouldn't let her.

Finally, she lifted her eyes to the sky, searching. Sure enough, it was there. A red globe not yet the size of the moon, hanging sharper than anything else in the sky. She'd avoided looking earlier, but she couldn't ignore it. Even up here, she could still hear the Planet's cries.

Cid came out on deck, apparently just to take a break from his duties on the bridge, as he seemed surprised to see them there.

"You oughtta get some rest, Aeris," he said, lighting a fresh cigarette.

She shook her head, gaze not leaving the sky.

"...worried about Meteor, huh?"

"The Planet can feel it coming," she said quietly. "The Planet is... It's frightened."

"Tell it not to worry," Cid said confidently. "We'll take care of it."

Aeris nodded. "You're right."

Yuffie spoke up finally, voice sounding small without her usual self-assurance. "How are we gonna do that? We're--well, most of us--are only human. Holy's supposed to wipe out Meteor, right? What can we do besides wait for it?"

Aeris slipped a hand into her coat to finger the shards of the White Materia. "Sephiroth's still alive, and so is Jenova. I'm... Holy should come in time to stop Meteor, but Sephiroth seemed confident he could stop it somehow. If he can, then we need to deal with him."

"You mean we gotta go back to the crater?" The ninja didn't sound thrilled about the idea.

"Yes."

"But there's a barrier over the whole thing now," Yuffie said.

"Just means we've gotta figure out a way through it," Cid concluded. His confidence surprised Aeris, but she was grateful for it.

Finally she dropped her gaze from the sky and turned away from the railing. "Barret said Tifa's still unconscious."

"Yeah," Cid confirmed, scratching his head. "You wanna see her?"

She nodded, and he turned to lead her back inside the ship. She could feel Yuffie's anxious gaze on her, but the girl did not follow them.

They had laid Tifa in one of the ship's private quarters, and Barret was there with her when Cid and Aeris entered. He stepped back, letting Aeris kneel down beside the unconscious woman.

"Has she woken at all since what happened at the crater?" she asked.

"Once," Barret told her. "In Junon. She was... pretty down. She kept talkin' like she didn't think we was gonna make it."

Aeris nodded and leaned forward to take Tifa's hand. "Tifa... Tifa, we need you to wake up. If Cloud's alive, then he's going to need your help. You understand, don't you? You remember what he was like. I can't do anything; I wasn't there in Nibelheim. But you were, so you can help him remember."

Tifa's eyelashes fluttered, and Aeris brightened.

"That's it. Stop hiding. It doesn't help you or Cloud or any of us. We need you. Cloud needs you. You're the only one who can help him find himself, and I think you know that better than anyone. It's the reason you hesitated before. You weren't sure then. You still aren't. But if you see him again, I think you will be. So just come back, and we'll find him."

She gave Tifa's hand a squeeze for emphasis, and waited as the woman slowly crawled her way back to consciousness.

At last Tifa opened her eyes, and slowly turned her head to focus on the Cetra. "Thanks, Aeris," she said softly.

Aeris smiled tiredly. "Don't worry about it."

The brunette sat up carefully, as though not certain what her body was capable of, and looked around the room without recognition. "What did I miss?"

Between Cid and Barret, with only occasional additions from Aeris, it made for a rather colorful explanation of recent events. Tifa listened without remarking on this and nodded in understanding when they'd caught her up. Then she stood and looked each of them in the eye as though searching for the one answer she hadn't heard. Finding nothing there, she worked up the courage to ask.

"If... If Cloud's still alive, where do we look for him?"

"I've talked with Nanaki about it," Aeris said. "We think... maybe he fell into the Lifestream. Nanaki says he's heard of a place to the South where the Lifestream meets the ocean. I'm not sure how good our chances are, but he may have turned up there."

"To the South... Near Mideel?" The brunette nodded decisively. "It's worth checking out." She looked them all over again with new energy. "How is everyone? Can we leave right away?"

"We can get some sleep on board," Aeris said, speaking with an air of certainty despite her own failure at getting any rest. "I think it's up to Cid."

"Well?" Tifa asked, looking at the pilot hopefully.

"I'll set a course," he said, and swiftly left the room to tell his crew their new destination. Tifa followed not far behind him, and Barret went with her, leaving Aeris alone in the room.

"If only you could do that for yourself, huh?" said a voice from the doorway.

Aeris turned to find Reno standing there. He must have been listening in the entire time from the hallway. "What do you mean?"

"You know. What you did for Tifa just now. A few words and a smile and she's good to go. I'm not sure what you've been through, but you're definitely not up to your usual cheery act. Are you worried sick? Is that it? Did you fall in love with that spiky-haired idiot, too?"

She shook her head. "No, Reno. Surprisingly enough, I didn't."

"Then what's up?"

"You think I'm going to tell you?"

He spread his hands. "Your friends don't know you like I do."

"Well, at least they're my friends."

He almost looked hurt at that, and the expression was fleeting enough she thought it might be real. "I'm through with Shinra, 'ris. We're not enemies anymore."

"I know." She sighed, not sure how to deal with that and too tired to figure it out. "This isn't the right time to talk about it. Let's just get some rest, all right?"

"Yeah. All right."


The town of Mideel was small, simple, and completely free of Shinra's influence. It lay on the largest of a stretch of islands far to the south, and for most of the island there was nothing but forest. They landed the Highwind along an open stretch of coast to the south of the village and walked the rest of the way beneath the forest canopy. A narrow path they discovered finally widened and led into town, where an old man lounging near the entrance called out a cheerful greeting.

Yuffie decided she liked the place almost immediately. It didn't have a trace of the tension you found in any town Shinra had touched. It didn't even carry the precarious calm of Cosmo Canyon or Bone Village, which seemed to be holding their breath, burying their noses in things long past to avoid attracting any attention. Instead it felt fresh and alive, not in any great hurry but not dragging any dead weight.

Falling behind her companions, Yuffie stopped to just look around. She hoped, somehow, this place could be spared. The thought surprised her a little. She sure was thinking a lot more than she usually tried to. Maybe seeing Midgar and the ruins of Sector 7 had something to do with it. She wasn't sure.

Maybe it had reminded her that even if they did defeat Sephiroth and Holy did stop Meteor, there was still a hell of a lot wrong with the world. There weren't many places like this.

The rest of the group had stopped a little ways ahead, and Yuffie snapped out of her reverie to join them.

"I guess we should ask around," Tifa was saying. "See if anyone knows anything about the Lifestream coming up here."

They were all in agreement, and dispersed to explore the little town.

Yuffie wandered into a nearby shop, thinking to find a general store and question its owner. Instead she was surprised to find it was a weapons shop, though she soon realized that the people here would have to fend for themselves. There were monsters here just as anywhere, and no Shinra to protect against them.

"You here on vacation, Miss?" asked the shopkeeper.

On vacation? I wish. "No, we're looking for someone."

"Looking for someone?"

Yuffie nodded. "Yeah. Have you seen a guy with spiky blond hair and really blue eyes by any chance?"

The woman pondered this a moment. "A couple days back, I heard some people talking about a boy who washed up on the beach. Blue eyes... and a big sword, they said."

"That sounds like him. D'you know where to find him?"

"I'm not sure, but you might want to check at the clinic."

After getting directions from the woman, Yuffie left the shop to follow the road up a hill. At its crest, there was a single white building, shaded by the edge of the forest. She went up to the door and went in without hesitation.

Barret was already there, an anxious expression on his face. He glanced at Yuffie, but said nothing. Farther back in the room stood a mustached doctor and a tall nurse, but they provided no explanation either. They seemed almost ashamed.

"Is he here?" she asked.

"Yeah," Barret replied with a shake of his head. He motioned towards a doorway. "In there. He's..."

Frowning, Yuffie moved past him and on into the other room. Aeris stood to one side of the door and glanced at Yuffie as she entered. Tifa was on her knees in front of a too-white bed, in which lay Cloud. He lay with his head slumped away from her, but his eyes were open and wandering, trying to take in the room but not seeming to see it. Tifa was crying silently.

"What... What happened to him?" Yuffie managed.

"Mako poisoning," Aeris answered quietly. "The Lifestream... It must have been too much for his mind to handle, all that information and memory and emotion. I... I didn't know humans could be so affected by it. You can't even... hear anything."

Yuffie looked at her without comprehension. She felt disoriented, first at finding Cloud like this and then at being reminded that Aeris wasn't human. It was easy to forget.

The Cetra shook her head, searching for the right words to explain. "It's like... if you suddenly had the knowledge and memories of a thousand people all poured into your head at once. Does that make sense?"

"...will he be okay?"

"I don't know."

Tifa suddenly looked back at her, her face tear-streaked. "Aeris, you... Aren't you a healer? Can't you...?"

"I've never seen Mako poisoning before," Aeris said, shaking her head slowly. "I can try to help him, but... I don't know."

"Please," Tifa entreated. "Please try. The doctor doesn't know what to do, and I don't know what to do, and... Please."

Aeris nodded. "All right."

Tifa picked herself up off the floor, but stayed close as Aeris went to Cloud's bedside and took his hand. She closed her eyes, and for several long minutes, everyone held their breath.

The others came into the clinic during the silence, all crowding into the first small room, asking Barret what was going on and receiving clipped answers and urgent 'shut up's. Reeve spoke with the doctor in hushed tones. Nanaki ventured into the next room, bumping Yuffie's leg. She crouched down beside him and stroked his mane while she kept her eyes on Aeris.

Finally, the Cetra opened her eyes and looked at Tifa. "I... I think I might be able to help. But it may take a while, and it won't be easy."

Tifa nodded. She turned her gaze to the doorway, blinking in surprise as she noticed they'd all gathered. "You all... don't have to stay. Relax, look around town. If... If Cloud gets any better, we'll come find you."

They agreed to check in with her and Aeris later, and then filed out of the clinic, leaving the Cetra to her work.

"Well, that sucks," Reno commented, obviously not the least bit bothered. "Your leader having Mako poisoning and all."

Yuffie shot him a look. Maybe it was time to cash in on the murdering plan.

"Just shut the fuck up, Reno," Cid spat. "You don't give a damn. Shit, you're probably even glad he's like that."

"Poor Tifa," Reeve murmured, immediately quelling the fight that was about to start. A short silence followed.

"We ought to find an inn," Nanaki said. "Some of us have not slept decently in a while, and Aeris will no doubt be tired after healing Cloud."

"Right," Cid agreed, letting out a breath. "We'll find an inn, and get some well-deserved rest."

It wasn't much of a vacation, considering Cloud's condition was going to be on all their minds, but at least it was a break. They could definitely use a rest from all that running around and rescuing people. She'd barely even shut her eyes after the Midgar excursion, and a long nap sounded good just about now.


She may have been a healer, but Aeris hadn't had much experience before joining Cloud. Her mother had taught her the basic spells, but everything beyond that, she'd had to puzzle out for herself. Different wounds required different weaves. She had never seen anything like Mako poisoning before, and she had only a vague idea of how to go about healing it.

The difficult thing was that Cloud's condition really had nothing to do with his body. A normal person might have been killed by the exposure, the doctor had said, but Cloud had already been showered with Mako. Whether or not he'd been a member of SOLDIER, the glow of his eyes proved he'd undergone similar treatments. Regardless, his body had simply adapted to the excess energy, and he was fine in that regard.

The problem lay with his mind. The Lifestream contained the knowledge and memories of the dead, not just human dead, but animals, plants, anything that had once possessed life. Their souls degraded in the Lifestream, got torn apart. Memories became fragmented and ran together with other memories. Thought patterns spliced, and knowledge lost all language.

Aeris was used to it. As a Cetra, she could interpret the knowledge in the Lifestream and weed out the chaos.

But Cloud was only human, whatever experiments he might have undergone. His consciousness had gotten lost in all that turmoil, and she had to figure out how to bring him back. It was unlike any kind of healing she had done before. She would have to delve into his system much as she did when reading the Lifestream, and she really had no idea if she could change anything.

Tifa sat on the bed opposite Cloud's, watching anxiously. She'd wiped the tears from her face and pulled herself together, and now she awaited Aeris's verdict. Whatever the Cetra determined, that would be her reason to hope, or to let herself fall apart again.

She had to try.

Aeris closed her eyes again and set to searching out the connection between Cloud's soul and the Lifestream, finding the pieces which had surged across where they didn't belong. It was a while before she realized that she was actually accomplishing something, although what, she wasn't sure. The realization made her snap back to herself. She blinked as if to clear her vision and glanced at Tifa to regain her bearings.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Evening," Tifa answered, regarding her uncertainly.

"Evening..." Aeris echoed in disbelief. She had been at this for the better part of a day, without even realizing. She looked back at Cloud, and hesitated. "...Cloud?"

He turned his head enough to look at her, and for an instant he seemed to recognize her. He began to say her name, but broke off into a moan, tossing his head to the side.

Tifa was at his side in an instant, touching his hand, peering into his face. "Cloud? Can you hear me?"

"Uhnn... Ti... Tifa..."

Aeris shook her head. "He's... not back yet," she said sadly. "I think I'm getting somewhere, but... It's hard."

Tifa looked at her. "But you can do it?"

"I'm not sure. There are... gaps. And fragments that seem like his, but they don't seem to fit right, and..." She faltered, sure she wasn't making any sense. "It's his mind that's damaged. Maybe if I do everything that I can, he'll be the Cloud we know, even if he's not completely healed. He was never..."

"...all there," Tifa finished. "I know."

Aeris nodded. Tifa more than any of them must have known something was wrong with Cloud. That was why when he'd needed her, she hadn't been able to pull through. "I... I'm going to try again."

"Do you need anything?"

"No. Just don't distract me."


Late into the night, Aeris collapsed from exhaustion, and the nurse in the clinic helped Tifa moved her to one of the other beds.

The brunette then turned hopefully to Cloud. She couldn't know how much Aeris had done, but maybe she'd gotten through to him. She sat down at his bedside and searched his face. His eyes were closed, so she thought maybe he was asleep, but she couldn't stand to wait. "Cloud?"

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Ti...fa..." He repeated her name several times, stressing the wrong syllable, changing the pitch of his voice, stretching out the sounds. He couldn't seem to grasp its meaning. Finally, he fell silent and shook his head a little.

Tifa bit her lip. "Cloud, it's me. I'm Tifa. I'm here with you."

He looked back at her blankly, then turned his head, gaze slowly sweeping around the room. "Little shards of glass," he mumbled. "Which... which ones are mine? Ragged... all gone again... Where did she go?"

"Aeris is resting," she told him, though she had no idea if that was what he meant, or if he would even understand her answer. Or his own question for that matter.

He kept on speaking in incoherent strings of words, like fragmented poetry. Every now and then he asked a question that almost made sense, and Tifa did her best to answer it. At length, he trailed off and studied the room in silence, ignoring her entirely.

She could have wept again, but she just held his hand fast and calmed herself. Aeris had said it could take a while. It was clear that he wasn't the same as when she'd found him, unable to form words or focus on anything. Now, he could recall her name when she spoke to him, even if he couldn't seem to understand who she was. It was his lack of recognition that hurt, but it didn't mean he wasn't getting better.

Cid, Yuffie, Nanaki, and Reno came into the clinic a little after sunrise. Her friends seemed hesitant to learn Cloud's condition, but the Turk strode on into the room without reservation.

"How's your fearless leader doing?" he asked.

She got to her feet, not wanting to have to look up at him. "A little better, maybe." She looked past him at her friends as they came in.

"What about Aeris?" Cid asked, nodding in the Cetra's direction.

Tifa glanced back at where she still lay sleeping. "She worked herself too hard. She needs to rest a while."

"But Cloud's a little better now?" Yuffie asked, studying the blond. The nurse had propped him up to get some food into him, and he looked back at her fixedly. "Do you think Aeris can make him all better?"

"If she can, it's going to be hard on her," Tifa answered, shaking her head slowly. "She was at it all day, and he's still..."

"Still what?"

"He was talking a bit earlier, but he's still so confused. Most of what he's saying doesn't make sense, and he... doesn't seem to understand me when I talk to him."

"This may be just one consciousness of many for him," Nanaki considered. "The memories of many others are readily available, almost indistinguishable from this reality."

"Maybe he doesn't understand that he can respond, or doesn't know how to," Tifa reflected sadly.

"Poor guy's still pretty fucked up, in any case," Cid remarked, watching Cloud's gaze make its circuit around the room. "I just hope Aeris can get his brain working right before we have to go kick Sephiroth's ass."

"Agreed," Yuffie said.

"Maybe he just needs a good whack on the head," Reno suggested.

Tifa pressed her lips together. "Reno, why are you even here?"

"I like to see things first-hand if I can. Besides, you guys need to lighten up. It's not like Aeris does this every day. She's probably still figuring out how it works. Once she's got it, Strife'll be back to his usual idiot self in no time."

Tifa had been expecting a snide or insulting reply, or at the least a dissatisfying one. What she'd gotten was reassurance. From a Turk. "...I hope you're right," she managed.

The redhead only nodded. His expression was confident, as if to say 'of course I'm right, I'm Reno.'

Cloud began mumbling incoherently, drawing Tifa's attention. She sat down and took his hand, trying to answer his vague questions and all the while suppressing her growing despair at his lack of understanding. He was doing better than before. Aeris would bring him back to himself, and he would be her Cloud, Cloud of Nibelheim.

The others were silent as she kept up the hopeless dialogue. Even Reno refrained from comment.

At length Cloud ceased responding. Tifa let out a sigh, dropping her head.

"Do you need to rest, Tifa?" Nanaki asked gently. "It seems you have not slept."

"I'm all right. I just... want to stay here with him, until he's all right."

"There's no use killin' yourself over him, kid," Cid told her. "Stay here if you want, but if ya need to sleep, sleep. And shit, eat something, why don't you?"

Tifa smiled faintly. "Thanks for worrying about me. I... I guess I am a little hungry."

"I'll get you something," Yuffie said helpfully. "They have great food at the inn."

She nodded her appreciation, and the others left the clinic, Yuffie promising to be back in a little while with something to eat.

Tifa turned back to Cloud, who was watching her silently, as though from a great distance. She thought on what Nanaki had said and squeezed his hand. "Cloud. This is now. This is reality. Please, come back to me."

"What... what do you want from me?" The question didn't seem to be directed to her, but she could tell it was his own.

"Just come back to me," she pleaded. "Me, Tifa, and your friends. Ignore all those other voices. Please..."

He shook his head slowly. "Can't... It's all... lost together, wouldn't wait for me. He didn't give me a number... Who am I?"

"You're Cloud. You're my Cloud. You're Cloud of Nibelheim. So please..."

"He can't, Tifa."

She started and turned in the direction of the voice. Aeris was awake and sitting up, watching solemnly.

"Not yet," she continued. "It's too much for him by himself. He doesn't know enough about himself or what's happened to him. He's alone, and he's doubting, and he's confused."

"But he's not alone," Tifa protested. "I'm here with him. We're all here for him."

"But he's not sure of that. He might not even understand how we can be here."

Tifa looked back at Cloud. He had turned his head to regard Aeris with an expression close to awe, as though he recognized her from a dream.

"If I'm going to heal him," the Cetra went on, "I'll need your help, Tifa."

"What do you mean? I'm not a healer."

"No, but you know him better than I do. I need you to tell me something, about what really happened five years ago. What happened in Nibelheim?"

Tifa hesitated, reluctant to say anything after all this time. She'd kept it to herself for so long, she'd almost convinced herself that it was her memory that was faulty. She'd wanted to believe in Cloud so badly, she hadn't been able to confess the truth when it might have made a difference.

But now Aeris was telling her it still could. Nibelheim was, after all, the key. If they could find out why Cloud knew what he did, then they could figure out who he was, and what had happened to him.

Slowly, cautiously, Tifa began to speak.


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