Chapter 5
The mismatched group that Cloud and the others had left behind in Coral Valley finally reached the exit to the caves, the two humans squinting at the sunlight that reflected off of the snow fields.
After some argument, the group had made Cid their leader--though Barret seemed about as thrilled with the decision as Cid was--and he was the first to step out into the snow. Dark circles shaded his eyes, and his unshaven face seemed bordering on a short beard now. He was tired, but he had been the most insistent that they should continue on in an attempt to catch up with the others.
Vincent was not far behind him, eyes quickly adjusting from the darkness. He didn't show any exhaustion, and no one was sure if he had slept at all on the journey. Barret had tried asking once, but the only answer he'd received was a shrug. They'd decided it was quite possible Vincent hadn't slept since they'd roused him from his coffin in Nibelheim. He'd been silent throughout the trek, speaking only when spoken to, if at all. The others gave him his space, and he pretended not to notice.
Cait Sith ambled along some paces behind Vincent. He hadn't spoken for some time, and Cid had concluded that whoever controlled the cat had fallen asleep. The thing had been a nuisance, but Avalanche needed all the help it could get, and they were starting to get insider information about the Shinra anyway. Still, Cid had more than once threatened to pull Mog's stuffing out to make the damn thing lighter and less bulky on their way up the cliffs.
Barret trailed along behind the others, grumbling under his breath. It seemed strange that the big man was the only one of the group to complain; every now and then he would protest that they had been on their feet for way too long and ask for a break. And every time, Cid would curse at him until he shut up.
None of them had rested more than an hour since the City of the Ancients. As Cid stared across the vast expanse of snow that they had yet to cross, he felt even more tired than he had before. He came to a halt only a few meters out from the cave, staring. It was pretty damn cold out there, too.
He glanced at Barret as he came out into the sunlight, figuring he probably couldn't go much farther either. They were both dead tired. Cait Sith was a fucked up stuffed animal, and so didn't sleep. Vincent... well, he was a weirdo, and so didn't sleep, apparently.
Cid sighed. "Fuck it. We're resting."
"YES!" Barret exclaimed triumphantly and promptly sat down in the snow by the cave's exit.
Cait Sith showed no reaction, sitting motionless. Yeah, whoever operated it was sleeping.
Vincent glanced briefly at Barret, then fixed his gaze on Cid. "They can't be far ahead of us," he pointed out.
Cid followed his gesture to a set of tracks heading out across the snow, and ran a hand through his hair; he hadn't even noticed. "Yeah, but... Shit, Vince, I'm fuckin' tired. I can't last two fucking minutes, much less the hours it's gonna take."
The ex-Turk blinked at him; Cid had never heard the man curse, and he didn't seem used to hearing strong language used repeatedly. "I suppose not," Vincent agreed, almost reluctantly. "They must have rested, after all."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." The pilot turned back for the cave, yelling irritably to Barret, "Hey, Barret, get yer ass up! You sleep out here an' you'll freeze to death."
The huge man grumbled unintelligibly, but he got to his feet and followed Cid back into the cave. Cait Sith and Vincent followed in silence. Cid collapsed on the stony floor, lay down using his pack as a pillow, and fell asleep instantly.
He had to end it soon. He had to get rid of her, before she... This had to end.
But he had yet to finish with her. She could endure much more before she would fall to her knees, and he had still to inflict it upon her. This was neither the time nor the place, however, on the lower slopes of the mountains just south of the Great Glacier. Sephiroth would have to be patient, and for once he had difficulty in waiting.
I told you that you should have killed her, Jenova said.
My feelings are nothing, he replied. It takes but a moment to suppress them. You should know that. In any case, I should be rid of her soon. Only another day of this.
You mean to kill her at last?
No. He glanced down at the woman in his arms. She had fallen asleep somehow, and he thought again that she was far too trusting. No. But she will wish I had.
Jenova sent the impression of a sigh. I suppose that's the best I can hope for.
"Wake up," he said aloud to Aeris.
Her lashes fluttered, but her eyes did not open. "Mmm?"
"Aeris."
She opened her eyes, blinked sleepily at him, and finally gave a start. "Oh!" she exclaimed softly.
"Hmph." She slept too heavily, he thought, or perhaps it was the cold affecting her. He could not be certain because he had never been human enough for such weaknesses.
"Intent on depriving me of sleep?" she asked.
"Among other things."
Aeris was silent for a moment. "How far behind us are Cloud and the others?" she asked.
"Does it matter? They will not catch up."
"I guess not," she agreed with a sigh. "I'm just... I hope they're not too worried about me."
Sephiroth did not reply. Why was she even talking to him? Did she expect him to reassure her? Did she think he cared?
Did he care?
It was a mere physical attraction; of course he didn't. She would no longer distract him once he left her behind. She would not linger in his thoughts. She would be broken, and then he could forget her.
"Sephiroth?" Aeris queried softly.
He spared her a glance.
"Do you have any idea where you're going?" She didn't mean their destination, and he knew it.
"I know exactly where I am going."
She shook her head. "You seem lost to me. You're only going on because you think you've got nowhere else to go."
Sephiroth scoffed.
"That's it, isn't it?" she asked, peering into his face, searching. "You think this is your fate? You think you can't escape it?"
"You know nothing, Aeris."
"Then enlighten me, please. I... I want to know you."
He forced himself to keep moving as before, not to let the effect of her words show. He felt she meant it this time, and she could not know that such a confession meant anything to him. He resisted the urge to look at her. "What for?"
"Do I have to have a reason?" she replied.
"Most people feel some kind of affection for a person before they truly desire to know them. I have done nothing to earn your liking, unless you've gone mad."
"I haven't gone mad," Aeris stated indignantly. "There's just... There is something about you--don't try to deny it. You're not always what you seem. But I can't figure it out."
"So you want to know me," he said flatly.
"Yes."
He glanced at her again. "Are you certain you still possess your sanity?"
She laughed a bit. She laughed. "Yes, I'm certain. You couldn't have been like this before Nibelheim. People would have breathed your name in fear then, not awe."
"No one knew me then either, if you recall."
"Still, you must have been different then, or people would have feared you more."
"I was ignorant then, and that is the only difference."
Aeris hesitated. "Zack said you seemed depressed. Not angry or violent like you are now, just... sad."
She had known Zack?
"So?" he queried.
"Well, I'm guessing he was one of the few who knew you at all. What he said had to be true, or at least close to it."
"Zack was hardly perceptive," Sephiroth scoffed.
"But he wasn't an idiot," Aeris said, sounding almost offended. "He surprised me sometimes."
"And what was he to you?"
She looked away. "Why should you care?"
"I don't. But it is easier to tear a person apart when you know what matters to them." He tilted his head, watching her. "Was he your lover, hmm?"
She did not answer. This was interesting.
"It has been five years anyway. I fail to see why it should still bother you."
Aeris looked back at him, eyes searching his face. "I never learned what happened to him. He went on a mission, and I never saw him again. It bothers me because it never ended properly, but... You killed him, didn't you?"
"I cannot be certain of that," Sephiroth said lightly. "The wounds I inflicted may have proved fatal, or not. I did not care to stay and watch."
A frown tugged at the corners of her mouth, but she managed not to show much pain at his callousness. "Then he did go to Nibelheim. Cloud... Cloud should have known him. Cloud should have at least mentioned another SOLDIER. And they..." She trailed off.
"The puppet is not what he pretends to be."
The Cetra shook her head. "No, he... He's not pretending. I don't think he remembers."
"And still you retain your faith in him," Sephiroth remarked derisively.
"I have to. Without him, the others would falter, and then who would stop you?"
He raised an eyebrow. "So you think now that your efforts were useless?"
"No. But you don't need Meteor to be a danger. When that fails, who's to say you won't continue killing? Someone has to stop you, and Cloud and his friends seem to be the most likely candidates. Although, I'm not sure death is what you deserve."
"What do you think I deserve, if not death?"
"You deserve a long life. Full of suffering."
He laughed. "Spiteful, aren't you? I suppose it is not surprising, but you seem not to bear me any hatred. Not like Cloud and Tifa."
"It takes a lot for me to hate someone," she said quietly.
"It seems so."
Aeris fell silent.
He let her be. He had learned enough from that exchange that he could wound her with it later, when the opportunity arose. For now, let her think in silence and uncertainty on Zack's death, about which he'd provided her no answers. Let her think on the puppet's tangled mind, and when they met again, let her try to get any answers from him. He remembered nothing of Zack.
But Tifa remembered.
He anticipated watching them as their doubt in their leader grew. Even more entertaining would be watching Cloud's faith in himself fail. It was already failing. The puppet doubted his sanity, wondered if he could accomplish the task which he had set out to do, even wondered if his friends could still trust him.
Wouldn't it be something, if he actually killed one of them?
"Sephiroth...?" Aeris queried anxiously, almost as though she'd sensed his thoughts. Her concern, however, had more to do with his immediate plans.
"Yes, I know the slope drops off," he replied curtly. "No, I am not going to waste time climbing down."
She looked confused, but she kept her mouth shut.
Quickening his pace to a run, Sephiroth reached the edge of the cliff and leapt off. Aeris's eyes went wide, and she clung to his coat, as if somehow that would prevent her from suffering a bone-shattering fall. Not that she was going to die that way, but she seemed to think so.
An air spell set the snow on the ground in a flurry, but landed him safely. He started forward through the snow as though he had never lost a step.
The Cetra blinked slowly, then loosened her grip and frowned. He could feel her heart rate calming. "You could have told me," she said.
"I had thought you intelligent enough to know I would not commit suicide by falling off a cliff," he answered dryly.
"You might have dropped me."
Perhaps she did have a point. "I have better things to do with you."
"Such as?"
He smirked at her as he looked her over, openly admiring her curves. She squirmed, trying to struggle free of his grip. But she could travel through the snow no better now than she could have before, so he only held her more tightly.
Finally, she let her muscles relax, looking away with her mouth set in a frown. "Where are we now?" she asked brusquely.
"Great Glacier," he answered.
"It's colder here," she said, anxiety softening her tone.
"It is."
Aeris looked back at him, and she was beginning to shiver however much she tried to keep her body still. "If we don't find shelter soon, I... Your holding me l-like this won't prevent m-me from freezing to death. Y-you could freeze to death."
Sephiroth snorted. "You should know I am too strong for that. You should also know that I don't want you dead just yet."
"...because I'm not b-broken yet."
"Exactly."
He held her a little closer as he walked on, and she pressed her face against his chest, trying to keep out of the wind and the snow. In the back of his mind, Jenova grumbled about the 'kindness' he was showing her. He had to scoff at that, but Aeris did not seem to notice.
Rock rose up on either side of the path, providing at least some shield from the strong wind that blew here, pelting them with snow. It did not bother him so much, but Aeris was, after all, nearly naked. And she was right; if they--if he did not find shelter soon, she would die. Keeping her warm enough to escape harm had stretched the precision of his spells already; an experiment to accommodate this change in temperature might simply kill her.
He knew where he was going, though.
Nearly two hours later, they came upon a river frozen over with ice. Snow had fallen and covered most of its surface, making it difficult even to identify, but easy to walk across.
In his arms, Aeris's shivering had grown more violent, her skin pale and her extremities blue. Frowning, he quickened his pace.
Anxious about her dying, I see, Jenova remarked disapprovingly.
It is not my intention to let her die now, he replied.
But why should you care if she does die? What does her death matter to you? Certainly you want to break her, but so what if she dies?
Why let her die when only a little extra effort will save her?
...save her? she queried suspiciously.
He strode a little faster. For more suffering, of course.
Of course, she repeated. Obviously she did not believe him, and the whole affair had begun to anger her, rather than simply annoy her. As long as you get rid of her soon and come to join me.
I will be with you soon, Mother.
Good.
Sephiroth continued across the snow at a lope, not slowing until he reached the lone house at the base of Gaea's Cliffs. He had never been inside of it, but he did not waste time knocking. He kicked open the door, felt warmth from a nearby fire wash over him, and actually sighed in relief. Relief!
He would definitely be glad to have her gone. Fun to torture she may have been, but she was a nuisance nonetheless.
He laid her down before the fire with a frown. She had since stopped shivering, and just this warmth would not be enough.
"So that's why you came barging in."
Sephiroth looked up, noting the presence of a man with surprisingly tanned skin and grey hair. He looked back at Aeris without speaking.
The man moved to close the door, having a bit of difficulty with the lock and knob broken. He must have ended up propping something against the door to keep it closed. He returned to crouch down near Sephiroth. "What happened to her?"
The swordsman still did not answer and kept his gaze on Aeris. It seemed he would have to puzzle out some sort of spell after all.
"Well, I can see you're worried about her anyway," the man decided, quickly rocking back to his feet. "I'll fetch some blankets."
Worried? Sephiroth wondered as the man vanished, reappearing moments later with an armful of blankets which he then moved to heap atop Aeris.
"I'm Holzoff, by the way," he offered, somewhat awkwardly.
"...Sephiroth," he said finally.
"Sephiroth, huh? Interesting name." Clearly the man had never heard of him before. He nodded to the Cetra girl. "How long has she been out in the cold like that?"
"A while." With the slightest hesitation, Sephiroth removed one glove and touched the cold skin of Aeris's arm. Healing spells had never been his specialty, as his part had always been killing rather than saving lives. Still, when he set himself to it, it did not take as long as he had thought to puzzle out a weave that would aid her recovery.
He sat back, the feeling of relief strengthening even as he tried to suppress it. "She will be fine," he told Holzoff, who was watching him curiously.
The man nodded, trusting his word. "That's good. I'll... ah... get something for you to warm up then." He stood and disappeared into the next room.
Sephiroth watched him go without informing him the action was unnecessary. He wondered briefly why he bothered to let the man live, but supposed it would be better if he waited until Aeris was conscious to see him die.
For now, however, she needed to recover from the cold, and they both needed to rest. Heedless of whatever Holzoff might think, he lay down near the Cetra and closed his eyes. Just for an hour or two, all he wanted was to sleep.
Aeris slowly opened her eyes, finding herself staring up at wooden rafters lit by a fire's flickering light. She blinked slowly, brow furrowing in confusion. Where was she?
And how could she possibly be so warm?
Shaking her head to clear it, she managed to push herself up on an elbow and noticed for the first time the blankets piled atop her. She stared at the cloth for a moment before her gaze went a little farther, finding Sephiroth asleep on his back hardly a foot away.
He really... didn't look like a killer in his sleep. His face was unmarked by aggression or arrogance or mockery. He couldn't leer in his sleep. Instead, only a slight frown touched his lips, as though an unpleasant dream were playing in his mind.
"Ah, so you're awake."
Aeris gave a start at the voice, tearing her gaze away from Sephiroth and looking around. In the periphery of her vision, she thought he might have flinched.
She found a man standing in a doorway some distance from them, a friendly smile on his face. "H-hello," she said, more surprised that he was still alive than she was at finding a person living this far north.
"Hello, miss," he replied. "Glad to see you're doing all right. You looked pretty pale when he came running in with you."
She glanced at the swordsman. He had run to get her here? He didn't want her dead just yet, but she had never expected him to go out of his way just to make certain she lived. She faltered, searching for words. "Where is this?" she asked finally.
"At the base of Gaea's Cliffs," he answered. "My name's Holzoff."
"I'm Aeris." She hesitated. "This is Sephiroth, though you probably already knew that."
"Yeah, he told me."
Aeris paused again. "You mean you didn't recognize him?"
Holzoff shook his head. "Never seen him before. I'm guessing he's someone famous down south?"
She nodded.
"I've been living here for twenty years, Miss Aeris," he explained. "Not many people come this way, so I haven't heard much news at all for a long time."
"Twenty years," she murmured in amazement. How could a person be alone for so long? She looked around the room again, noting the fur rug, the old couch, the hunting rifles, and the array of knives laid out on a nearby table. Glancing at Sephiroth, she considered taking one, but decided it would do her no good.
"Are you hungry?" Holzoff asked her.
"Yes, yes, I am, but..." She trailed off, casting her captor another glance.
"Go ahead," he said, startling her.
"How long have you been awake?" she demanded, staring at him.
He had not moved a muscle save to speak, and now he only smirked.
"Impossible man," she muttered, gathering the heaviest blanket about her shoulders as she stood. Well, at least he had no objections to her having the blanket or to her eating.
Aeris carefully stepped over Sephiroth, knowing that kicking him would only amuse him. She stopped beside him, though, watching Holzoff uncertainly. He had moved to the back of the room, and was doing something with his back to her. After a moment, he turned around and handed her a plate with some food on it. Not warm, not spiced, but it was food, and she thanked the Planet for it.
Was worried about you, it confided to her.
She smiled very faintly as she sat down on the couch, the plate in her lap. I'm all right now, Planet. Sephiroth's being oddly nice--for him--at the moment. There's probably a catch, but for now I'm just glad to be warm and with food again.
He will not let you die, the Planet told her with certainty.
I guess that's reassuring, she remarked doubtfully as she started eating.
Not sure that it is a good thing. I am thinking that perhaps you would prefer death to what may come.
Aeris hesitated. If he deprives me of my desire to live, Planet, then he's won. And he hasn't done that yet. I want to keep on living, no matter what it takes. Life is precious; that's become clearer to me the closer I've come to dying.
I do not quite understand, but be strong, child. Harder days are ahead.
I'll manage, she said. She sighed and frowned, glancing again at Sephiroth. Somehow.
Holzoff leaned closer to her and said in a low voice, "I don't mean to be rude, Miss Aeris, but I don't see why you should bear him such hard feelings."
She blinked and looked up at him. "Excuse me?"
"He did save your life after all," he continued quietly, apparently believing that Sephiroth could not hear him.
"It's his fault we got into this situation in the first place," she stated, shooting the swordsman a glare. He lay on his back with his hands behind his head now, staring at the ceiling, and he looked decidedly amused. She most definitely could not be nice to him all the time.
Holzoff frowned slightly. "Well, even so, he looked genuinely concerned for you."
She shook her head. "You don't know him, Mr. Holzoff. He couldn't feel genuinely concerned for anyone, much less me. But I suppose I'm just glad I'm alive for now."
Sephiroth's smirk faded to a frown. What was he thinking about? Or was it something she had said?
"You're lucky to be alive," Holzoff agreed. "It's terribly cold this far north, and you weren't even wearing... uh... clothes..."
She looked back at their host, and gave a wry smile. "It's better not to ask."
He was silent for a while as she ate. Then he took her empty plate and asked, "Are you two headed farther north?"
"Yes," Aeris answered.
"Then you'd better be prepared for it. The wind on that cliff is steady, and the cold goes right through you." He hesitated. "It's much colder than here, with that wind."
Colder than here...? she wondered in amazement. She guessed the stony paths to the cliffs had provided some shelter, but on the cliff there would be nothing. If she had nearly frozen to death here, Gaea's Cliffs would be far worse.
She nodded. "Excuse me for a moment..." She stood, walked over to Sephiroth, and crouched down near him. He kept his gaze on the ceiling as she spoke. "You've said that you don't want me dead till I'm broken," she whispered. "I'll need clothes, warm clothes, if we're going to climb the cliffs. If Holzoff has any to give me, will you consent? Otherwise, I'll be more of a nuisance to you than I have been."
His eyes did not so much as flicker, and his expression remained blank. "Very well. Ask him then."
Aeris blinked, still surprised that he had consented. She wondered for a moment if there was something wrong with him, but decided he must have just realized that she was right.
She straightened and turned back to Holzoff. "You know... If it's not too much to ask, do you have any clothing I could borrow?"
Holzoff nodded and beckoned her to follow him as he walked into the next room. "Come on, I'll see what I can find for you."
Aeris glanced back at Sephiroth before trailing after him. Couldn't he, though, have told her to wait until just before they left? What was he up to? Gods, now he was making her paranoid.
Enjoy it while you can, she told herself as Holzoff led her over to a wooden chest. It can't last.